Review of The Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010) by Kenneth E — 20 Apr 2014

I hate Jerry Bruckheimer. No, I mean, I REALLY hate Jerry Bruckheimer, so much that I cringe every time his moving logo of the lightning hitting the tree appears before opening credits. This film puts into play every negative aspect that bothered me with his previous films: twisting history and reality for the sake of more action, convoluted plots, unnecessary chase scenes, the sexist portrayal of women, the over-achieving heroism of men, and (worst of all,) the overly-commercialized cliff-hanger ending that sets up future cash-grabs.

What made "Sorcerer's Apprentice" such a shame to watch was that I actually enjoyed it up to a point. That's right. Act 1 and a portion of Act 2 I actually ENJOYED. The beginning story set-up with the Wizards and the dragon ring and the Grimhold was interesting; there was clever dialogue and situations ("Are you crazy?!?" Nicholas Cage makes a gesture meaning: 'a little.'), and Jay Baruchel's awkwardness was hilarious. (This was the first time I had seen Baruchel in live-action; previously, I was familiar with the guy as simply the voice of Hiccup from "How To Train Your Dragon.") Even Nicholas Cage was entertaining as Merlin's heir Balthazar. However, after the pointless tie-in to Walt Disney's Fantasia involving Baruchel's failed attempt to clean the facility using the untested magic of anthropomorphic brooms and mops, "Sorcerer's Apprentice" spiraled into typical Bruckheimer fare. Explosions abound. Chase scenes ensue. The Grimhold gets tossed around like kids playing a game of hot potato. Women are A) sex objects B) unspeakable evils that must be squashed and/or C) a plot stall. In the end, boy gets girl. Balthazar dies but he doesn't die. Mankind is saved from womankind by cleverness and young guys filling their "old man's shoes." And, of course, there's the inevitable cliff-hanger. While I was not expecting refined drama and excellence from a summer film intended for mere entertainment, Disney should really try harder. With the financial disappointment of "Prince of Persia" and the laughable flop which was "The Lone Ranger," perhaps audiences are getting wiser by avoiding these poor-man-Spielberg movies.