Review of The Snowman (2017) by Rebecca31 — 19 Oct 2017

We all know those people who’ve read the book before the movie comes out. They sit there and critique every tiny little detail. “Oh the book did this and that and it was so much better, read the book everyone because the film doesn’t do it justice.” Well I’m going to turn into one of those people so brace yourselves. I’m a huge fan of Jo Nesbø, his books are in a league of their own. So naturally when I heard The Snowman was getting a movie adaptation I was delighted. Admittedly choosing the seventh book in the series to make into a film was strange but as it’s a hugely popular book I understand why they chose this one. I’ve been following it for years, looking at every set photo, poster, trailer and now on Friday October 13th 2017 it’s finally here. So Tomas Alfredson I’ve just got one question for you. Have you actually read The Snowman?

I’m gutted, I wanted more than anything for this to pull itself together into a great crime/thriller but it’s worse than I could have imagined. Michael Fassbender as Detective Harry Hole, Rebecca Ferguson as Katrine Bratt, great casting, based on a terrific book so someone please tell me how The Snowman got it so wrong? Oslo’s greatest detective investigating the gruesome murders by a serial killer calling himself The Snowman. Vastly underdeveloped characters with little to no chemistry between any of them. They’re simply showing up, saying their lines and going home again. Oh but don’t worry there are lots of pretty scenic shots accompanied by some nice piano music shoved in your face every five minutes. All pieced together by an absolute sorry excuse for an editor. Was this even edited by anyone? It’s honestly hard to tell. The pacing is all over the place, any attempt at building the tension failed. The story moves at an unbearably slow pace eventually the challenge isn’t figuring out who the killer is. No it’s fighting off sleep.

Who to blame for this? The writers? Director? All you had to do was follow the book, it was all there for you in black and white. Is it that hard? Seriously I want to know because it almost seems like you went out of your way to make this so bad. A poor imitation, a missed opportunity, a waste of time. A crime movie which certainly doesn’t deserve that title. No suspense, no atmosphere, nothing. I nearly fell asleep more than once so if you’re looking for something to watch over the weekend make sure to avoid The Snowman at all costs. I can’t think of a single thing I liked about it, beyond terrible so for that reason it deserves a 0/10.