Review of The Slaughter Rule (2002) by Brody M — 17 Aug 2009

Homoerotic football film (I fucking hate football movies) that takes place in a hick mountain town in Montana, about young twink Roy Chutney (Ryan Gosling) who gets cut from his high school (?) football team and joins this crazy old man's (David Morse) amateur football team.

Everyone in town says the guy is gay, and he takes an extreme liking to Roy. So the whole movie you're thinking "is this guy a fucking pedophile or not?" That seems to be evident when they're wrestling and he starts kissing the kid in his ear.

I hate all football movies, so I thought a homoerotic twist on one would make it more interesting. It doesn't, this is a long, boring film about boring, uninteresting people. Oh, and I hate Ryan Gosling.

I heard he walked off a film recently because he thought he was a bigger star than he was and wasn't being treated like one. Dude, you were just in The Notebook, it wasn't like Transformers or anything.

You're not fucking Shia Lebouf or someone you know? He was great in that Lars and the Real Girl movie though, so that was nice.