Review of The Single Moms Club (2014) by Bill H — 11 May 2014

The message of this movie is: you're a strong woman ONLY IF you find the right man, which contradicts the empowering message (as well as the movie's title). Other than that, I hated the movie. I didn't mind the single mother characters, they were okay. I hated everybody else in this movie including their damn kids, all of whom were just complete assholes towards these women. I hated the supporting cast. Okay, I guess that means I hate some of the mother characters, too. I repeat: SOME of them. The only one I liked was the Amy Smart character only because I haven't seen Amy Smart in a movie in a long while. Plus, she was the only decent, normal human being throughout this picture, save for a rather cringe-worthy dialogue with her crush that was full of sexual innuendos that went on far too long. Everyone else were irrational, comedic (ie: stereotypical), and/or poorly written, resulting in a very unimpressive, dull two-hour flick (it felt like two hours).

The movie is a string of episodic moments best suited to an after-school TV special or maybe a Lifetime TV series. Something like Desperate Housewives (starring Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Marcia Cross, and Felicity Huffman), only without mysteries and anything resembling good screenwriting that pulls me, the viewer, in. It tries so hard to be a tear-jerker yet the build-up doesn't lead to a worthwhile payoff for some if not all of these moments, all of which seemed pulled right out of the writer's ass. Parts include: a scene where a kid learns the truth about his dad; and another heart-to-heart chat involving a little girl who finally opens up to her mum. Most likely this rushed development (if it can be called as such) was the result of juggling around one too many characters. We've got five leading ladies with at least one offspring for each mother (because they're moms, derp), and AND about two guys dicking around with each femme and you can tell each woman will be saddled with a new man before the credits roll. Aside from Amy Smart grabbing my attention, Terry Crews also helped make this movie tolerable. Other than that, you've got blank slates fitted to stereotypical roles, you've got no writing where story and plot just suddenly pop up when the writer feels like it, and you've got long drawn out scenes with the mothers bitching about kids, men, jobs, exes, crushes, etc... clearly stuff that us guys aren't supposed to be witnesses to and yet somehow we're there.

Maybe I can try to be fair and call this movie harmless. It clearly was not made for me and I'm sure many women felt something when watching this flick; I can attest to that because the ladies were quite loud in the theater where I was in attendance. Me... I chuckled a few times at some moments, then sat disgusted and looked at the time for the majority, and chuckled again when I noticed some gal's boyfriend snoring a few seats over.

But seriously, how come these mothers couldn't stay single? How does this show a happy ending? This is real Disney fluff and yet the House of Mouse managed to come up with a more mature film entitled Saving Mr. Banks... now that's a film that dared to show not every story had a happy ending. That's a film about broken families and broken dreams, and overcoming those odds on your own terms, and still trekking on even when things don't go as planned. Yeah yeah, mothers are special, especially the single moms, and I also love my mommy, but this movie really missed the mark when Tyler Perry decided to give every mother a new boyfriend who comes to sweep them off their feet and save the day. Might as well called this movie Prince Charmings (plural) or something like that.