Review of The Shawshank Redemption (1994) by Grahal — 30 May 2018

How this movie is at the top of IMDb top 250 nobody knows, but one thing is certain: **** movie made for people with low IQ get excitation. Maybe that's why I don't like it.

Often cited as “my absolute favourite movie” by people who collect cuddly toys and probably still support the death penalty.

Shawshank famously became a sleeper hit on DVD sales after bombing in the cinema. Because of this (and the millions of fake accounts on IMDb), it has acquired a reputation as ‘The People’s Choice’. And this just makes it even more irritating.

Fanboys will tell you how they’ve seen it 17 times and talk about its deeper themes that touch on hope, identity and what it is to be human.

In reality its Clinton Cards cod philosophizing is laid on so thick it’s like being waterboarded with Dairylea triangles, while its hokey and unrelenting voiceover, that punctuates the action like pins and needles, should have won Morgan Freeman a Werther’s Originals contract.

The cartoonish 1D characters – saintly, good-hearted folk who get kicked around by the cartoonish devils oppressing them and its facile depiction of prison life it makes The Wonder Years look like Angela’s Ashes.

Time drags as if you’re doing a sentence of your own. Remember this was adapted from a short story and boy does it show. And the twist? Like the film itself, it thinks it's clever but ultimately just feels like a cheap trick to distract you from how dull the previous two hours have been. A modern fairy tale.