Review of The Shape of Water (2017) by Dancuka — 27 Apr 2018

The worst movie I have seen in years. Incredibly predictable, boring and filled with plotholes. Shallow characters and rushed pacing with cringy dialogue. Did not care about the fish-dude at all. I felt like they didn't even try to make it relatable in any way.

There was nothing even shown from his perspective. The movie is also extremely saturated with political and liberal propaganda in the most blatant way possible. Its not even trying to be subtle or clever about it.

Its like they had a checklist while writing the script. "First of all, lets bash Christian values every chance we get. Lets make the "villains" quote the Bible cus that's edgy right? Also lets clearly show that bible-movies suck with empty theaters showing them.

. (whut why?) Moving on: Lets have the girl masturbate a couple of time on screen cus its also super edgy. Make sure the nipples are on screen: Check. We need some unnecessary sex scenes ofc here and there: Check.

Oh, we can not forget the obligatory gay-character with a tragic story: check. While at it, lets have some racial themes mixed in too. Make sure we have the stereotypical sassy black-woman act going on.

And finally to top it off, we need to have FISHSEX. Oh yeah baby, they are gonna love it. Bestiality, hell yeah right? They are gonna eat it up and win us the Oscar." I want my 2 hours back please.

I don't even care that much about the propaganda, but this movie just sucked so hard I cant believe I watched it all the way till the end. And nudity? Sure whatever, if it fits with the context no problem.

Might even make the movie better. Here it's totally unnecessary and just feels weird. I have lost all respect for Del Toro with this crap. He is the most overrated director of our time. This movie should have bombed so hard.

Can't believe how brainwashed critics are these days.