Review of The Seven Minutes (1971) by Eric B — 07 Feb 2012

A Russ Meyer movie, dull? Hard to believe unless you've seen "The Seven Minutes." Adapted from an Irving Wallace novel, this courtroom drama is an attempt at straightforward storytelling with a minimum of Meyer's usual titillation and cheap humor. The plot's censorship theme obviously was a heartfelt issue for him, but bland lead actors, a marathon running time by Meyer standards (110 minutes) and a tedious middle stretch leave one hungry for more bouncing breasts.

The film's title refers to a fictional novel written by the mysterious J.J. Jadway. The sexually explicit book -- the title refers to the average time required for a woman to reach orgasm -- was published back in the '30s and has been extensively banned. Now the book is pivotal in two pending cases: a mousy bookseller accused of peddling pornography and a young misfit charged with porn-induced violence. The intersection of these cases is somewhat confused, but most of the action follows a handsome, maverick lawyer (Wayne Maunder) as he collects evidence and romances a woman (Marianne McAndrew) from his client's upper-crust family. Along the way, he encounters an intriguing cast that includes a pre-stardom Tom Selleck, John Carradine (one throwaway scene as a drunk Irish poet), Yvonne De Carlo ("Munsters" fans will be quite pleased with her flashy role), Wolfman Jack and familiar character actor Harold J. Stone. There's also a truly bizarre appearance by Berry Kroeger, portraying a witness described as a "thinking man's faggot.".

"The Seven Minutes" has a strong ending, but it's not enough to forgive stale dialogue and an overly complex story that soon tests one's patience.