Review of The Saddest Music in the World (2003) by Scott D — 21 Jun 2007

Although I hate, hate, HATE to miss the beginning of movies, I ended up missing about a minute of this one, during which time I'm pretty sure nothing of importance happened, but then again, I'll never know. Though I was in the theatre on time, I was in serious need of popcorn and the line seemed reasonably short so I decided to risk it. Little did I know, every single person in front of me was ordering impaired.

First there was the woman who fished in her purse for several minutes for enough change to pay for her large Diet Coke and mega-sized strawberry Twizzlers but eventually came up short and had to give the Twizzlers back. Next came the woman who initially ordered plain popcorn but then changed her mind and asked them to put butter on ONE SIDE ONLY. Finally, there was the couple in front of me who spent the entire time in line happily chatting away, only to get to the front of the queue and be absolutely dumbfounded by the clerk's probing questions about popcorn size and butter and drinks. Listen up people. Nothing you have to say in the concession stand line can possibly be more important than the details of your impending snack purchase! Harrumph.

Oh yes, the movie. "The Saddest Music in the World" might actually be one of the strangest movies in the world, or at least that I've seen in a long time. It's set in Winnipeg in 1933, during the height of the depression. After the rich owner of the Muskeg brewery named Lady Port-Huntly (played by Isabella Rossellini, my favorite actress), announces a contest to find the saddest music in the world, musicians stream in from around the globe to compete for the top prize of $25,000.

Representing America is a brash Broadway producer named Chester, who used to be Lady Port-Huntly's lover. Representing Canada is Chester's doctor father, Fyodor, who also used to be Lady Port-Huntly's lover and who accidentally amputated both of her legs following a car crash, forcing her to be carried around thereafter by her assistant, Teddy. (That is, until Fyodor presents her with a beautiful pair of glass prosthetic legs filled with Muskeg beer.) And representing Serbia is Chester's brother Roderick who used to be married to Chester's current lover, Narcissa, who's suffering from amnesia.

These convoluted inter-relationships don't begin to explain how strange this movie is. Single elimination contests are staged between the competing countries in the music competition, kind of like a musical March madness. First up: Siam vs. Mexico. Lady Port-Huntly decides the outcome of each match from her perch above the festivities, signaling the winner to the cheering crowd below with a thumbs up. To celebrate, the winning musicians are then tossed down a slide and plunge into a giant vat of Muskeg beer below.

I have to admire director Guy Maddin's imagination. Almost every scene in this film contains something truly bizarre. This isn't a movie for everyone; in fact, it's not even a movie for me. Though there was an occasional brilliantly clever scene, mostly I sat watching with my mouth agape wondering how anyone could concoct such a fantastic story.