Review of The Roommate (2011) by Dalton G — 24 May 2011

The makers of "Just Go With It" and "Hall Pass" could only hope to yank as many laughs out of me as "The Roommate" was able to...if only that were a good thing. This neutered and watered down PG-13 thriller lacks any facsimile of courage, meaning that it is not too scary, not too edgy and not really all that exciting; basically it is not anything that it should be. Not only that, but the big PG-13 also hinders the prospect of cheap exploitation that horror fans crave so much. It is the Diet Coke of its movie genre.

Sara (Minka Kelly) is an Iowa native starting her first year of college in L.A. with high hopes. Right out of the starting gate, she becomes friends with a popular, fun-loving girl (Aly Michalka) who goes to all the parties, and she falls for a drummer in a local band (Cam Gigandet). But there is something about her roommate Rebecca (Leighton Meester) that just does not seem right. She is a recluse who is very secretive and possessive toward Sara. Very, very, very possessive. One can ascertain that this little caveat means bad news for anybody who ever wants to become friends with Sara.

I wonder if there is still a Blockbuster video near the college. Sounds like someone needs to brush up on the 1992 hit thriller "Single White Female" to see how these scenarios play out, not make the same oversights and maybe even devise a plan to avoid similar consequences. But then, there goes the movie (yay?).

I know I should at least try to differentiate, but "The Roommate" borrows so liberally and so shamelessly from "Single White Female" that it may as well be titled "Single White Female." Look at the facts: we have the protective friend that feels her importance is being compromised, a scene where she kills a cute little animal and the big switcharoo where Rebecca poses as Sara and fools her boyfriend (and the boyfriend's subsequent murder). I am surprised that a stiletto heel was never weaponized. And do not even get me started on the requisite shower scene, a cliché that simply needs to die out from modern horror. You are not "Psycho" and you never will be.

It may sound like I'm describing this as a 'so bad it's good' experience, but alas, the laughs I got just came from the sheer ineptitude of things. Christian E. Christiansen's execution has the elegance and flair of a straight-to-cable flick (and a bad one at that), the reveals are boring and derivative, the actors are bland (seriously, does Gigandet have more than that ONE look?), the characters are vapid and the final reel may be one of the most laughably moronic climaxes I have ever seen. And poor Leighton Meester, the only actress here I actually have faith in, cannot seem to land herself any roles that fully showcase her potential talent.

The pivotal scene is the one in which Rebecca's mother (Frances Fisher) asks Sara if Rebecca has been taking her medication on a regular basis, to which she does not know how to reply. Later, she discovers a full bottle of capsules in her drawers. Instead of suspecting the worst, she immediately believes that the prescription was probably just refilled and that she has been taking the pills all along. I am not kidding.

1/4.