Review of The Room (2003) by Luciusmcgibbon — 16 Dec 2013

No movie could possibly be this bad by accident.

I submit that Tommy Wiseau—or at least the people who could have stopped him but didn't—set out to produce the single crappiest piece of cinema ever made, possibly as a send-up of the contemporary standards. Assuming that unparalleled mediocrity was his aim, I give this film a perfect 10. My mind actually refuses to believe otherwise, because it would take a psychotic mind—nay, a gathering of several—to look at this and go "this is good.".

The entire cast is absurdly bad at acting... the script could have been written by a grade-schooler... the dark soundtrack plays at the most pointless times, and disappears when it's needed... the "moments of insight" in the dialogue are impossibly cliched and shallow... the story takes 100 minutes to do what it could in 10... unintentionally side-splitting sex scenes are interwoven with boyish football tossing scenes while the remaining 30% of running time (a.k.a. the most insipid plot ever, anywhere, ever) spins its wheels at or under 1 mph... the ADR is off by a mile...

You reach bad movie nirvana when protagonist Johnny actually says another character's lines while the latter's voice is still dubbed in.

It's as if Wiseau wanted people to experience what happens when the absolute worst of everything comes together. Worst actors, worst director, worst screenwriter, worst lighting, worst editing, worst cameramen, and poof! Genius.

Nobody anywhere could ever make a worse movie no matter how hard they tried. In my humble opinion, that's why The Room is a monumental success. I mean, anybody could throw a handful of crap at a wall, but it takes a special kind of person to evenly paint the entire room with it.