Review of The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do the Time Warp Again (2016) by Kevin W — 21 Oct 2016

The Rocky HORRIBLE Picture Show.

Neutered and overly self aware.

My problems with this movie started before it even aired and my predictions weren't wrong after watching. This was on TV during primetime on ABC (a family network). The movie was completely neutered. Sterilized to be risk free. All of the sex of the original was washed away and replaced with jr high level pillow fight quality grab ass. No boobs being grabbed in Touch-a Touch Me, no overly gay sexual foreplay in Make You a Man. Not even the strange sexual tension between Riff and Magenta. Everything that made the original naughty, fun and taboo was removed.

"Look at us, look what we're doing! We're putting on a rocky horror show, isn't that awesome?" The movie screams for 88 minutes. The 1977 RHPS was a movie. It was self contained. The characters within were there for each other, interacting with one another. The audience participation was an after effect. I was how we, the public, WATCHED the movie. This movie played TO the audience. It even had a fake audience. Lines were delivered frequently to make sure there was a long enough pause for an audience call back. The blocking of the scenes were that of a stage musical. No one was playing to each other or the story, they were playing to the audience, the result being complete and total insincerity.

Casting. Dear lord. First and foremost, Frank-n-furter is a man. He's a transvestite. You know how I know, because he sings "I'm just a sweet transvestite". Laverne Cox is a woman. Painted to look like a drag queen. She is transgendered. Not the same thing. The sexual relations between Frank, Rocky, Brad and Janet are completely "normal" (by safe ABC tv standards). In this movie Frank is a woman who sleeps with a few guys and has an innocent college level lesbian experimentation with Janet. Safe. Lavern is also a terrible, flat, non emoting, awful singer. Her songs were by far the worst of the show. Her acting is cartoonish in it's way of poorly imitating Tim Curry.

Poor Tim Curry. Jesus, this stunt casting left me so sad and uncomfortable. The poor man had a major stroke and can barely move. Putting him in as the criminologist was just mean. Why not cast barry bostwick or Richard Obrien instead?

Brad's acting was that of a 1920's radio play. And he was the worst offender of the "hold for call back" delivery.

I will admit that not all ships were lost at sea. Janet was by far the stand out best of the movie. Played it very natural. Columbia was also fun. I really liked her "I don't give a shit" attitude towards Frank. I could do with less blue tongue, but whatever. Even Adam Lambert as Eddie was fine. I thought I would hate Magenta at first sight with her Pirates of the Carribean Calypso character, but she was passable.

It was Riff Raff and Dr Scott who crashed on the rocks. This Jared Leto wanna be Riff needed a switch kick in the dick from minute 1. He wasn't so much creepy butler as he was scooby doo villain. Ben Vereen is an amazing broadway singer/actor. And whoever decided to let him go with this performance needs to be shot with Riff's laser guitar.

Which brings me to the visuals. I don't hate them. I'm okay with redesigning the look of Rocky Horror. If I wanted original sets and costumes, I'd watch the original. I didn't really like some of the choices like the laser guitar or the band playing in the rooms or the movie theatre castle, but they didn't detract from the movie. The music however is different. I'm 50/50 on the arrangements of these songs. Some of them worked just fine. Others like the time warp were misses. It didn't help that some of the biggest songs were sung by the worst singer.

I could nit-pick the movies to death, like Eddie hasn't come back to life when he first bursts on the scene and is killed so meekly or the fucking snapping like the Transylvanians are in some hip night club or Rocky's front tramp stamp. These are just poor choices made by the director that happen in all movies.

I just feel like this version of Rocky Horror failed due to poor casting and bad directing. To much homage, not enough original take. The Drew Carey show had more heart and was a better representation at Rocky than this will ever be. I think it also points out that Sweet Transvestite and Drag Queen are not the same thing.