Review of The Punisher (2004) by Liang X — 27 Nov 2011

I should have seen it coming. Ever since the appalling train wreck that was Battlefield Earth, my faith in John Travolta has been irrevocably lost and not even the deliciously fun Swordfish could have restored it. And now The Punisher has hammered the final nail in the coffin. Retaining the hairstyle but none of his coolness, Travolta has been transformed from slick yet deranged terrorist into a vindictive pansy of a mafia boss. How the mighty have fallen! If it's any consolation, if Battlefield Earth was a train wreck, then The Punisher can best be described as a car crash.

What started off as an innovative concept by Marvel Comics in 1974 has ended in utter disaster. A superhero with no super powers except a near unbreakable constitution (surviving being riddled with bullets and a huge explosion) and a badass attitude, not unlike Daredevil, was a daring innovation. Unfortunately, the movie will be heading in the same direction. Somebody apparently didn't realise two things: that not only kids read comic books and the absence of CG doesn't automatically qualify a movie as serious. Or vice versa.

Normally, an in-your-face delivery style works fine for me, especially for an action flick, so as not to end up pretentious. But in this film, it gets really suffocating after a while. The total lack of subtlety, pointless (almost gratuitous) violence and uninspired script will kill off even the most hardcore Punisher fan base. I actually found myself wishing for some CG to cover up for the routine shoot/blow 'em up sequences. I expect director and writer Jonathan Hensleigh to start receiving plenty of death threats from disgruntled fans.

In addition, the number of clichà (C)s and stereotypes employed in the show rivals that of Harry Potter books (and that's saying a lot). Hero happens to be checking out the hardware with his pop when the assassins arrive, enabling them to defend themselves. Hero locked in hand-to-hand combat with Russian man-mountain and destroying furniture while his three misfit neighbours prance around to the tune of "La donna à (C) mobile". Hero blows up an entire building/carpark just to kill a lackey or make a point. Hero shooting guards that all-too-familiar bow and arrow, etc.

Is there any saving grace to this otherwise dreary, vapid movie? Surprisingly, yes. Some of the scenes and dialogue were actually hilarious (albeit almost certainly unintentional) considering how campy they can get. Thomas Jane is convincing as the broody protagonist, tormented by his family's demise and yearning to quench his thirst for blood. His stalwart acting more or less single-handedly held up the flimsy excuse of a movie. It's a pity the rest of the movie couldn't match up.

Older fans of The Punisher may remember watching its first cinematic release starring Dolph Lundgren in 1989. It bombed. With the recent spate of interest in comic book adaptations, now is a good chance for it to redeem itself and establish itself among the ranks of runaway hits like Spiderman or X-Men or join the rest in the discount bins with Daredevil and Hulk. No prizes for guessing where it'll end though. Folks, do yourselves a favour and give this show a miss. One person being punished is enough.