Review of The Princess Bride (1987) by Amy A — 21 Sep 2017

This is the best movie of all time. OF ALL TIME. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Every line is brilliantly funny, the cast is incredible, and I've never seen better chemistry...and I know chemistry--I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

Words can't do this movie justice. The only disappointing thing about it is that the cast members didn't invite me to their reunion. Don't they realize I'm their biggest fan??? Inconceivable! I guess I just need to get used to disappointment.

So what is it about? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles. Doesn't sound so bad, right? Just try and stay awake...because if you don't I'm gonna have to emulate the movie and say "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.".

I mean, you seem a decent fellow...I hate to kill you. So I need you to love this movie as much as I love it. After all, true love is the greatest thing in the world...except for a nice M.L.T.--a mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that! And you've gotta have a little dessert with it...after all, the chocolate makes it go down easier.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes: watch this movie. Don't give me excuses; just say "as you wish" and do it. And if you have guests over, offer more than popcorn: make sure you ask if anybody wants a peanut.