Review of The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012) by Samuel M — 28 Jul 2012

Just to begin on a lighter note, the map travel animations were mildly amusing, at best. With that behind us, take away Peter Panâ(TM)s charm, skill, wit and morals, give him a âluxuriousâ? beard, place him and his merry men a pirate ship and youâ(TM)ve got Sony Pictures Animationâ(TM)s The Pirates! Band of Misfits. A voice cast comprised of B-list English actors with a dash of Salma Hayek offers little to no conflict and even less humor. Untested writer Gideon Defoe displays little promise with no romantic interest or redeemable moral themes. This lack of storytelling pours hefty portions of salt on the wounds that are the untouched holes in character development i.e. random cross-dressing female pirate with huge crush on Pirate Captain (voiced by Hugh Grant) or the obvious hints at Pirate Captainâ(TM)s great shantyâ(TM)s, but not a single note whistled by him or his crew.

The âGreatâ? Pirate Captain tries to prove himself to the pirating world, end up partnering with a virgin nerd Charles Darwin, (voiced by David Tennant) who is or isnâ(TM)t the villain desperate to get laid is neither convincing, educated, or funny. The children with the misfortune to view it, will have more than one reason to fall asleep from boring âWallace and Gromitâ? claymation to the boring settings and humdrum musical scores. The main take-away from the film is the complete overuse of the word âbootyâ?, which ironically is exactly what the movie was. Prophecy self-fulfilled.