Review of The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012) by Marischa B — 11 Aug 2012

The Pirate Captain is a pirate. But he never actually kills, steals or plunders.

Despite how many times they mention sea shanties in the film, they never actually sing one! It feels like they cut out a lot from this, but at an hour and 30 minutes it already drags quite a bit. The third act you see coming a mile away and I just wished it had ended when he first wins the pirate award.

Unfortunately the film was made for 3d. Which means gone are the amazing camera and visuals we've seen in 'the wrong trousers' and 'close shave'. Replaced instead with ... pies to the face and swords pointed to the camera, and even some googley eyes for good measure. The henchmonkey chase is pretty great however.

The pop soundtrack is so uninspired , yes they are going to London, no, you don't need to play 'london calling'. Why do movies feel the need to use songs as exposition.

The other captains looked more interesting. None of the secondary characters had much to do. Cookie-cutter by the numbers plot. Absolutely zero danger or suspense in the whole film until the ending. Some of the dialog was just exposition, very strange, for example "i'm being smashed by barrels of vinegar!".

On the pro side, the animation is fantastic. Some sight gags to chuckle at. Actors and actresses are all great, including the female pirate dressed up as a man. The non-speaking chimp stole the show as soon as he was introduced.