Review of The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012) by Jennifer R — 19 Jan 2013

In "The Pirates! Band of Misfits," we are treated to characters both dumb and unsympathetic. None of the jokes are funny, and the Pirate Captain, voiced by a miscast Hugh Grant, is a bore from start to finish. The film livens up a bit at the end, when we get actual action on Queen Victoria's warship, but by that time our attention has been lost to the insipid plot, made worse by the constant and even more insipid music by film composer Theodore Shapiro, whose contributions similarly ruined "Hope Springs." I won't even bother recounting that plot, as it won't make sense, anyway.

One thing that annoyed me even further is the choice to make Queen Victoria the villain. Leaving aside the fact that in 1837, when the film is set, she would have been only 18, and not the matronly dominatrix they portray here, it seems odd to pit her as someone evil opposite pirates, who actually were evil. The film takes for granted that we'll like the pirates just because the director expects us to, yet makes no effort to ensure that we find something likable in them. Also, speaking of dates - yes, I know it's just a silly animated film - but did they really have flush toilets and electrical light switches in 1837? I don't think so. I'm not used to movies - even ones marketed to children (or especially ones marketed to children) - so completely ignoring historical realities in the name of story as this one does. Why bother with dates, then? Don't even get me started on the airship . . . If the film were at least funny, perhaps I would care less.