Review of The Pink Panther (2006) by Matthew Q — 06 Jul 2011

Clouseau is the epitome of man... and the woman. His inner soul shines like the seven suns of Mars. His aura radiates throughout nature like the glowing essence of humanity.

This film is so racist that it becomes non-racist. Clouseau is both black and white at the same time, and also aquamarine, like Mother Nature's shining waters.

This motion picture transcends traditional wisdom and gives us the perspective of the realm above the sixth layer of external inner reality. The ultimate truth is that the Pink Panther diamond is only valuable in the tenth realm of inner reality, contrasting with the soul of Clouseau's intriguing exploration of the sinfulness of the eight gods.

Everything comes together into the most groundbreaking film written since the phenomonal Grease 2, ghost written by the spirit of Zorro.

We have a feeling this movie was written by Filooku-b-Aspenter, the worshipful half-son of the fourth and a half god of the eighteenth realm and the mortal woman Sarah Jessica Parker. Kishono-t-Bartulka was defeated by Filooku-b-Aspenter, but before he died, he gave Filooku the idea for the Pink Panther through a cake vision in the heart of Filooku's worshipful toilet.

May the twenty-nine realms of Asflard be praised for this masterpiece of cinematic art, directly from the mouth of the worshipful eighty-first god.