Review of The Order (2003) by Patrick S — 18 Jan 2010

There is something that I have always wanted to do ever since I saw the TV ads where Heath Ledger ordered something back to hell. I wanted to see this movie and ordered IT back to hell. However, history has always beaten me when I have a clever one-liner for a supposedly bad movie I liked the movie too much for me to use the one-liner. So will this movie break the cycle? Did this movie become hated enough in my eyes to use my one-liner? Let's find out.

Heath Ledger is a renegade priest from a renegade sect of the Catholic church that finds out his renegade mentor has died. He sets off to Rome to investigate in a renegade manner but wait, he also recruits the other renegade priest Mark Addy and his crazy Love Interest Shannyn Sossamon(remember her?). And somehow Peter Weller is there to kick things into motion with his babblings about a Sin Eater and a dagger to send him back to hell. But along the way, things are not what they seem and all that cliche thriller crap.

This movie is mostly boring and banal. I wouldn't be so mad if the central idea of the movie was horrible but the this movie has interesting ideas. The concept of a Sin Eater that would come by and eat your sins if there was no other way to acquire absolution is awesome. The guy playing the Sin Eater is awesome and he tries his best to salvage something out of the movie. Its just that when the Sin Eater isn't onscreen, the movie goes to hell with boring dialogue, boring love and boring running around. For renegades priests, I would think that they would have more interesting actions and ways of doing stuff.

The acting doesn't help things out either. Heath Ledger may have given his laziest performance ever. When he goes into hysterics near the end of the movie, it is easily the most embarrassing male hysterics ever recorded. And this is from someone who saw Cary Elwes hysterics in Saw. Mark Addy has the thankless role of being the stock Irish priest speaking stock priesty lines and making stock comic relief jokes. The only real scene-stealer, besides The Sin Eater of course, is Peter Weller who's only in four scenes but he's awesome in all of them. I don't want to say he hams it up but he is having a lot more fun than the rest of the cast. And as for Shannyn Sossamon? She imitates wood but what kind of wood is the question? Balsa? Maple? Elm? Oak? The world may never know.

Ah well, at the end of the day this movie is mostly boring with some great moments of interest. This movie does try and I do appreciate something that tries but it fails miserably and I almost pity it, almost. However, the real question is can I use my clever one-liner putting it down? Yes, I can:

I ORDER THIS MOVIE BACK TO HELL!