Review of The Nun (2018) by John M — 18 Dec 2018

It's only the beginning, I can tell. So as you may recall from The Conjuring, the Warrens have some pretty exotic haunted memorabilia. Other than some dolls, there is also that creepy painting of a Nun.

This is the origin story of the nun in that painting, telling the story of the haunting of a convent back in the 1952 Romania. I know people talk about sequelitis, but prequelitis is a real thing, too.

Much like the Star Wars prequels, this is a rather large case of over-explaining something that nobody wanted the extra details for. It ruins the allure of the mystery when you map out how everything works, and I don't know how I would feel now if I go back and watch the first two Conjuring movies.

Now I do still like the first two Conjuring movies, the first one far more than the second. I didn't catch either of the Annabelle movies, but it's not like Annabelle the doll has anything to do with this nun.

I don't know how they managed to do it, but they actually managed to create a successful universe without an end in sight on the down-low. None of these movies cost much to make, and because they are smartly marketed and released at an optimal times, they always get the most bang for their buck, yielding huge returns.

I haven't talked to anybody who liked The Nun... but a ton of people went to go see it. Fifteen minutes into this and I could already feel myself zoning out, because these characters are just types.

I know Demián Bichir can act because of The Hateful Eight, and I think that Taissa Farmiga is a capable actress, but nobody is given a whole lot to do other than the normal horror trope of wandering around dimly lit hallways.

Because of that, there is never any real connection made with the leads. There's no reason to even root for them other than the fact that they are the protagonists. Even though it may sound like I am coming down hard on this, The Nun never really made me angry.

Some of the dà (C)cor is up to snuff, but other than that, this movie is just kind of there, for me at least. It's just a low rent horror movie that does the bare minimum to give the feeling that you haven't completely wasted your time and money.

Because there really is such little meat to this story, there is absolutely no reason to watch it; just because there are worse movies out there does not mean you should invest time in a movie that is D grade at best.