Review of The Northman (2022) by Wanna_ — 24 Apr 2022

The violence verges on porn levels. Definitely gratuitous. I don't mind violence in a film if there are characters and a story that I care about. Neither in this case. There is so little dialogue for me to get to know the people.

And what dialogue there is often very difficult to understand because the (fake) accents are so overdone. And so many different types. There is almost no respite from the brutality. Yeah, I get it. Vikings/Ancient Norse were cruel.

But I came for entertainment, not a documentary. So much Norse mythology (I guess), but as someone unfamiliar with that culture, I was completely lost most of the time, and it had no meaning for me nor delivered any significance to what little story there was.

I really wanted my two hours plus back afterwards. It was a very rough watch, to no enjoyment. (I only give it a 'one' rather than 'zero' because some of the scenery is pretty.) I wished I'd gone to see 'Secrets of Dumbledore' instead; and that's saying a lot.