Review of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008) by Chads. — 02 Aug 2008

The Himalayas are in Nepal. The filmmaker doesn't provide a legend(i.e. Himalayan Mts, Nepal) for the geographically-challenged, nor does Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) say, "C'mon gang.

We have to reach NEPAL before General Han(Jet Li) utilizes the immortality pool which will infuse himself with eternal life and the power to shape-shift into a three-headed dragon," to his wife Eleanor(Maria Bello, who seems to be channeling Stephanie Powers: "Hart to Hart Goes to China"?), or son Alex(Luke Ford, who seems to be channeling a surfer dude from the future).

Because of the times, some people, the geographically-challenged, may leave the cineplex thinking that the mythical Shangri-La lies in China. And exactly what are we supposed to make of this Chinese connection? Do you assess this change of scenery as a deft melding of revisionist folklore and cinematic traditions, or a shameless attempt to revive a franchise of dubious public acclaim by pouncing on a genre that the filmmaker knows has a built-in audience? This is a rhetorical question, of course, in which you can gauge my answer by the sarcastic tone of this blog entry.

Unfortunately, the most memorable thing that Jet Li does in "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" is dissolve into mud before engulfing himself in flames. And then there's Michelle Yeoh.

She so horny. Two-thousand years in a cave, Zi Juan waited for Ming Guo(Russell Wong), with her two-thousand-year-old daughter Lin(Isabella Leong), who talks to the snow animals. This movie seems to have been made for people who saw Ang Lee's "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", or any of the recent Zhang Yimou films, and thought to themselves with melancholic reflection: You know what this movie needed? A yeti.