Review of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013) by Abnuggler — 06 Sep 2013

Probably one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time, how there are some people who have given it a 10 is beyond my comprehension.

I'll start by saying that I never read the book and am not really interested in doing so now, I saw the trailer and immediately thought this was a the next franchise to try and follow Twilight's footsteps, but seemed to be a little less "teen supernatural romance" than twilight and would be at least a movie a guy could sit through if your girl who wanted to watch it. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into but boy was I wrong.

The movie has an "ok" premise in the beginning, and it doesn't start that bad but somewhere along the lines everything goes to hell, ridiculous plots emerge, the story then just goes everywhere and nowhere at the same time, it gets so bad it starts to get funny just watching how lame and predictable the story is.

You can tell they took parts and pieces from other successful book-movie franchises and just splattered them in this; you can even see Hogwart's infirmary inside the institute that resembles Hogwarts a lot, there's a love triangle just like "twilight", the group of good guys are pretty much out of twilight (just take off the fangs and give them weapons), the whole shadow-hunter thing is pretty much Constantine for teens, hell they even have wand like thingies that glow that look a lot like Dr. Who's Sonic Screwdriver.

Some scenes are so unnecessary that if you think about it for just one second you can tell they make no sense being there (they almost seem that they literally took what was written in the book and did the scene as is, instead of doing some screenwriting to make it fit in a movie), the two worst parts of the movie have to do with the big "Twist" near the end:

1) When Valentine reveals that Jace and Clary are brothers; after you had to go through a cliched scene where they sucked face (by the way the kiss scene was one of the worst scenes and so poorly done), which I just thought was wrong in so many levels, and in the end Jace and Clary seem not to even care about their incestuous kiss and feelings and simply dismiss them as "I don't really think we are" (would have been ok with it if during the movie they had only seemed to have feelings for each other and didn't kiss so in the end you didn't know whether those feelings were attraction or family love and or if Valentine was lying or not).

2) Again when Valentine tells Jace he is his son, Jace doesn't believe him and shows him his father's ring with a W (Wayland his family's name), and then Valentine grabs the ring and turns it around so its an M (Morgenstern, Valentine's last name) I swear everyone in the theatre laughed at that moment, it's like:

-Valentine: see?, if you turn it around its and M not a W.

-Jase: Oh my god! You're right! I've had this ring for ages and never did I ever see that if you turned it.

Around it would have an M instead of a W. That is all the proof I need, I totally believe you!

The plot twist was just so poorly executed it was laughable.