Review of The Mist (2007) by Chris W — 05 Apr 2013

Though the idea is a sound one, as is characteristic of all Stephen King works, The Mist is also a bust (as is also characteristic of most Stephen King movies). The main actor is nothing short of terrible.

If you don't believe me just watch the scene in the car at the end where he attempts to pull off a "omg I'm shocked and horrified and sad that I did this!" scream but it comes off as a laughable "LET'S SEE HOW LOAD I CAN RAISE MY VOICE AND ONLY DO ONE TONE LIKE I'M THE WORLD'S MOST ANNOYING HUMAN ALARM CLOCK".

It's overtly preachy and King's anti-religious attitude is immensely evident and unnecessary. I'm not kidding when I say every time you think they're done bashing all those "stupid religious fanatics that just use their religion to be better than everyone else and for power" they do it again! Oh AND there's racist characters because why not.

Several of the characters The Mist are dimwits that seem to populate every "horror" movie nowadays. Oh and most of them are unlikeable fuckwits, because why not go for the double wammy? But the major flaw, one that otherwise might make it an enjoyable experience, is that it's not scary!! For it's attempts to follow the horror conventions it doesn't even manage to get the most basic one down.

That's failure on a whole new level! Oh yeah and get ready for logical fallacies out the dick because there's enough in this movie to make a drinking game out of it. Oh and the ending, it's a mix of a clever twist and a "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" kind of feel.

Basically 6 people are left, in a car out of gas, and there's a gun with 5 bullets. These characters have been through hell and made it this far to survive. SO, they decide "ah to hell with it, I'm tired of living in this crappy movie!" and kill themselves, all for the, SURPRISE, main character.

If only everyone and their retarded cousin hadn't seen that coming. So yeah, I guess now everything they did was a waste! Sure this movie does has some good moments but it just makes far too many damn mistakes to make up for it.