Review of The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009) by Archibald T — 22 Mar 2011

Why does Bob Wilton go to Kuwait? Well, it's because his wife left him for a one armed man who served in Iraq. So Bob goes to Kuwait to show up the one arm man by also proving to his wife that he can be a manly man. When there he meets Lyn Cassidy and he reveals to Bob that a long time ago in the 80's the military tried to create a band of psychic soldiers. Now Bob is a reporter and he sees this as an opportunity for a story. So he tags along with Lyn who has to get to Iraq because he's been reactivated and is on a mission. Actually, it's not a real mission. Please Note that every character is delusional. I'll repeat: DELUSIONAL. Keep that in mind.

While on this trip Lyn discusses the time he spent in the military and how he became part of the New Earth Army which was founded by Bill Django played by Jeff Bridges who should be nominated for this role. How did Django come up with the New Earth Army idea? I'll explain. While in Vietnam he fell off of a chopper, hitting the ground below. Many of his fellow soldiers followed behind him and as they were taking heavy fire he noticed that every one of his soldiers couldn't hit this one particular enemy who ended up shooting Django in the chest. After this he made the realization that his fellow soldiers did not want to kill anyone.

This lead Django to seek out new experiences and since it was the late 70's it was going to be easy to find those experiences. When he came back to the military he began work on creating the New Earth Army. There's even a theme song to the whole thing.

The New Earth Army is to create a super soldier or a Jedi Warrior. Maybe both. Lyn Cassidy was the highest ranking soldier due to his impressive way of "seeing into the future". Unfortunately, every great mind must have an enemy and that was Larry Hooper, he was the dark side the evil Jedi if you will.

So Lyn and Larry were both at odds, but Lyn didn't know this or sense it. Some special powers. When another newbie comes into the group Larry uses him as the fall man. He gets the kid high on LSD and before you know it he's out in the courtyard where everyone is marching and begins shooting at them before shooting himself. This is where Django gets in trouble. He's discharged and the New Earth Army is passed to Larry.

All of this is told as Lyn and Bob get kidnapped by Iraqi's and getting stuck in the desert after their car blows up by an IED. It's hilarious how all of this stuff happens. The best thing though would have to be the very end where Django and Bob spiked everyone's food and water with LSD so they could escape from Larry Hooper's control. Even Larry gets his dose of LSD and becomes hungry due to the effect.

I can't rate this highly enough. It's very funny shit. I'll never stare at a goat the same way again. Or a hamster for that matter.