Review of The Matrix Reloaded (2003) by Whatisgilbertmulroneycakes? — 31 Oct 2003

Matrix Reloaded? Isn't that some minor independent film that's supposed to be a bit good? Well, no, stop being so bloody arch. Pat C. makes a good point. There's a lot of stuff going on, what in the Big Lebowski was called "a lot of threads in ol' Duder's head".

And an awful lot of talking. Very. Portentous. And meaningful. Talking. Your enjoyment of the film pretty much hinges on your threshold for this sort of thing. Oh, and a complete lack of snobbery - because this isn't brain food.

It just dresses the same way. Mind you, those with a predeliction toward nose-turning will have done so for the original and therefore wouldn't have come back, so we're safe. Jim A. basically hit the nail when he said that this is a movie for sitting there and watching rather than thinking about - and sometimes, I think, it demonstrates that it knows it.

There are a fair few post-modern elements [*sound of readers screaming and scrolling away*] in the movie, such as Persephone talking about her husband and echoing the thoughts of everyone who's just sat through that first scene with him.

Or the opening, one of the most post-modern [*more screams, faint sound of horses whinnying*] openings to a major movie in a while - because it's essentially the same as the first one...that is, until spoiler deleted.

But never mind about post-modernism [*screams, whinnying*], the real reason anyone'll see this film is the Heart-Stopping, Head-Pounding Action Sequences!?. And by golly with a side order of gosh, but they're great.

Too many of them too close to each other, for my money, but great nonetheless. The acting? It's good. Yes, even Keanu Reeves. He can do miserable and intense. Carrie-Ann Moss still doesn't do enough, but what she does she does well.

Laurence Fishburne pulls off the neat trick of not making Morpheus seem like the biggest wanker that ever walked the Earth, Weaving Hugo (who, presumably because of LOTR, isn't in it as much) is still gold - that voice is just genius.

Be advised: that's it as far as returning characters are concerned. Even those few who didn't die in the first film are nowhere to be seen here. Still, that's a blessing because the cast is huge enough as it is - and still, they're all good.

Jada Pinkett Fresh Prince flits between charismatic and enigmatic without batting an eyelid, Harold Perrineau does his customary "worried yet pretending to be in control" job admirably, and Monica Belucci, well, she's wearing an interesting outfit there.

Oh, and she gives a nicely seductive-yet-faintly-untrustworthy performance too. Oh, and good performances from the Rayment twins as well (except when they talk). I point it out because I still can't believe they went from being handymen on a British daytime DIY makeover show alongside Carol Vorderman, to the Matrix sequels.

No kidding, that's where the brothers found them. Carol Vorderman to the Wachowski brothers. Incredible. Just occured to me, the Americans don't even know who Carol Vorderman is. So I've just wasted my time and yours.

Sorry. Anyway, the film. There are problems, else I'd have given it 10: it's all a little...I don't know, bloated at times. So much stuff happens in the first twenty minutes I actually started to panic.

Too much, too quickly. And it also suffers from Middle Child syndrome, just like The Two Towers, or Critters 3: it doesn't tell its own story so much as set up stuff for Revolutions, and so it sometimes feels vaguely unsatisfactory.

Something of a cop-out toward the end as well. But then the real ending happens, and stuff is sort-of revealed that will set your head a-spinning. Then "To Be Concluded" and aw, nuts. Roll on Revolutions.

Seriously. Recommended, with some caveats: 1) see the first film first, and 2) don't watch it if you think these kind of films are stupidbrainlesssick and wrongfor kids. They're not, but there'll be no telling you that.