Review of The Matador (2005) by Alyson C — 20 May 2008

Is this a "I'm no longer James Bond poo on you" protest? If so, it's a pretty lame one. From the cast and the premise, you get the idea that this will be some sort of an action movie, but only one thing blows up, and that's within the first ten minutes.

The rest is all boring drivel, and if you have major issues with bullfighting (like I do) this is going to be one long slooooow drag. It's better suited to the stage than the screen, since nothing ever really happens.

A guy meets a burnt-out assassin in Mexico, they sort of become friends, then six months later, the assassin botches a job and needs the other guy's help to save himself, so six million years of drunken conversation later, he agrees to, they kill the guy after the assassin, and all's hunky dory.

Cue "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers (largely the best - and therefore short-lived - part of the movie), and it's over at long last. It wasn't especially funny or witty, and there was hardly any action to speak of, so essentially, it's one big waste of time.

Unless you've really got the hots for Pierce Brosnan's lumpy post-Bond bod, stay far far away. What a fall from grace for 007. Sigh.