Review of The Martian (2015) by Crappymovieguy — 21 Oct 2015

I went to the movies and seen this the other day and I walked out thinking this is almost as bad as Mission to mars because every scene in it is ripped so badly from that movie, from the garden to the bit where the feminist commander is connected to a life line, but instead she is waiting to catch Matt Damon coming from mars in the middle of SPACE, Which is so unrealistic I cant wrap my head around it!

Matt damon (humanity) took a big shiit on Mars because they left him behind on Mars by himself and he couldnt help but start a Crappy potatoe garden out of all the shiit they left behind.

My teeth clenched so hard at the movies when ABBA started playing and Matt started sucking up to the women with that crappy song(And im not talking about the other suck up songs either).NASA sent a bunch of humans to plant spuds on Mars because you know thats all humans can plant right? Such a JOKE, From him almost freezing to death and radioacting his brain to stay warm, Then to sticky taping his Fragile Crappy helmet. Every women in NASA is attractive according to Ridley Scott, even the dumb ones sitting in the background have no purpose in the movie, They are just there for the feminists just like in Jurassic World. There is a brainwashing bit with the black techno guy and the smart attractive NASA blonde where he points at her and says, You are MARS, I think he said it to target the women who want to feel important so they keep watching the crappy movie and buy into stereotyping(Kinda like a control freak.) Your IQ will drop if you watch this movie...maybe Jimmy Kimmel was right to stand him up because you dont want to be stood up by Matt Demon I mean Damon like I was. 0/10 If there was a alien civilisation on MARS Matt Damon just took a crap on them so dont be suprised if we get invaded by Matt Damon Shiit demons from Dogma......