Review of The Marine (2006) by Erin G — 26 Mar 2010

This is an entertaining (and pretty bad) movie. The plot is nothing new but it moves along just fine despite the really bad writing. There are winks to the audience which lets you know that even the writers knew that this script was crap.

I thought Robert Patrick (the bad guy) could act but you could tell that he didn't care in this film. Kelly Carlson (good guy's wife) needs a really good script and fine actors in order to stay afloat (Nip/Tuck). So, she sinks. I couldn't help but think "Sharon Stone, 2.0" while watching her. The token black guy's character is just simply offensive. The only brother in the film and he's an idiot. I suppose they were going for comedy relief. He started out funny but then became a sad parody.

Like any good (bad) action movies, the action sequences were over-the-top. I saw the main character do a slow motion dive into the water twice. Yep, twice. Awesome. Slow motion is like anything, you can have too much. There was a slow motion run to a vehicle. Nothing really happened, but it's always cooler in slow motion.

So, just what beacon of light shined through this shit storm (remember, I'm giving it 60%)? John Cena. He is hot, really hot. And he can act. Really, it's true. Watching the fight scenes with him were fun (and sexy). If it wasn't for him, I'm not sure if I could have sat through this film. He carried the film. I feel bad that this was his debut (was it...) on the big screen. I don't think his phone is ringing off the hook with those looking for a leading man. He could be a great action hero. He's very attractive and athletic and he can act. The trifecta!

60% seems damn generous, especially after reading my own thoughts on this film. But my ratings are based on first thoughts, not serious reflection. I liked this film despite its flagrant shortcomings. It's fun, fast-paced. Simply, an indulgence. Watch it. You know you want to.