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Last updated: 03 Jul 2026 at 18:39 UTC

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Review of by Stephen E — 24 Mar 2013

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"The Marine" is one of the best bad movies I've ever seen. Literally everything about it is awful, from the wooden acting to the nonexistent character development to the cheesy music cues to the shoddy dialogue to even the stupendously cheap-looking visual effects, and for being a thriller, there's just an astonishing lack of suspense.

But, at the same time, I loved every mediocre minute of it. In a film of terrible performances, the best (worst) one comes from the poor man's Ving Rhames, Anthony Ray Parker, who thinks that he is doing such a great job.

As well, John Cena and Kelly Carlson are literal pieces of cardboard and show not a single ounce of compassion towards one another and Robert Patrick is embarrassingly sure of himself. "The Marine" is laughable in terms of just how moronic and incompetently executed it is, but its blatant cheesiness is what makes it so hilarious.

In fact, it almost seems intentionally dumb.

This review of The Marine (2006) was written by on 24 Mar 2013.

The Marine has generally received mixed reviews.

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