Review of The Maiden Heist (2009) by Anthony R — 07 Sep 2010

I remember a couple previews that made this look pretty funny, and with a cast like Morgan Freeman, Christopher Walken, and William H. Macy, how can you go wrong? Somehow, this film managed to go wrong.

It wasn't character development...I definitely was interested in their characters. It wasn't plot...the plot is gripping, and evokes thought in the sense of "what all will happen to these men?" Somewhere in the movie, though, it just became uninteresting.

I found myself waiting for the end, and even regretting starting the film in the first place. I have to put the flaw in the film to the writing. The movie felt very unfocused in certain places, as ADD as Walken's character in the film's opening.

I understand the point of that scene is to express Walken's inner longing for excitement, and also that he'd do anything to protect the painting, but it's never mentioned again...and nothing like that ever happens again.

Characters come and go with hardly a "how do you do" - Breckin Meyer may as well have gone uncredited, because he has barely 10 minutes of screen time. I understand that the film is more about the trio, but then why get someone like Meyer when it could've just been another no-name actor? As much as I like Meyer's work, he definitely isn't "cameo" material.

I will admit, though, that a few of the jokes and lines were pretty funny. However, a lot of it was just childish humor, like Walken falling down when using the rappelling rope, and it felt like a bad "Home Alone" film at times.

There was one character error that I noticed: Macy's character is ex-Marine, and he plays it this way very often. However, when he's trapped in the box at the end, he panics and starts begging endlessly for help from the other two.

This seemed a bit out of character to me...perhaps it was done on purpose to make fun of the character. However, were this the case, I feel Macy's character would have come out at the end as the stalwart Marine again, as if nothing had ever happened.

That would have been funnier. Or perhaps if he remained that tough Marine in the box and would shout out obscenities or commands a la R. Lee Ermy. That had more potential than the mindless decision to just have him panic like that - felt very inconsistent.

Again, a few of the scenes were funny, and I liked certain character decisions...but for a team-up like Freeman/Walken/Macy - three VERY funny men - I thought this film fell flat, and there was far too much of Macy's naked behind to actually be funny.

I also thought, action-wise, there was never enough danger. It's a caper film, I felt there should have been more danger for the characters...more mishaps to befall them. But they were never caught, nothing ever happened to them.

The job was way too easy. The writers tried to throw setbacks at them, sure, but they were never worthwhile challenges to overcome. Just throw some more money at it, and boom it's done. These were not very well though-through.

Overall, the film was a disappointment, despite the few funny moments within. Worth catching on a movie channel, but that's about it.