Review of The Magnificent Seven (2016) by Yoloswag4Doge — 08 Oct 2016

The special effects and stunt work in this movie are great. And the acting, for the most part, is quite good. What fell flat for me was what felt like a lack of substance. We learn a bit about the several men and the plight of the townsfolk is done well.

The villain is made out to be quite despicable, which certainly adds some weight to things. But when it comes to the actual shootouts (there's two big ones), it feels like a montage of badass kill maneuvers rather than actual shootouts.

What I mean is that for all the style and flare, there is very little of the fighting that actually feels real. Especially the final showdown, there are literally dozens upon dozens upon dozens of guys just randomly popping up around the town sitting atop of their horses just waiting for someone to do a badass take down of them.

The initial charge there appears to be maybe a couple dozen of the baddies, but somehow despite blowing up half of them with dynamite and surprising them with a hidden trench filled with armed villagers, they continue to pop up around the town in bunches of 3 just spinning around in circles on their horses getting shot.

There's a gatling gun that's used later in the fight by the bad guys even though there killing some of their own men. Why this gun wasn't used to open up the fight, (kind of like bombarding with artillery fire), is beyond me.

There's no flanking maneuvers. The bad guys run at the town head on, while the good guys later charge at the gatling gun head on. But I know, I'm just beating on a dead horse. Bottom line is the action is all flare without care.

So, I found it somewhat amusing to watch, but I didn't really feel attached to the characters or the townsfolk, who were basically just fodder for the bad guys to kill while the good guys hip fired their 6 shooters like a cliche straigh outta the 60's.

(Oh and don't worry. No good guy ever just holsters his pistol. There is always the double spin that somehow makes really loud windmill noises while they're doing it).