Review of The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) by Brandon W — 31 Jan 2017

This is the last time I will ever talk an ex-girlfriend's movie recommendation. After falling in love with the first Jurassic Park film again, I remember an ex-girlfriend telling me that I should watch the sequels because they were good movies.

I'm here to tell you straight up, this movie sucks. Now I haven't read the book or have any familiarity with the source material so don't tell me I need to read the book before I can critique a film down in the comments.

As soon as I saw the weird opening sequence with the little girl on the beach encountering dinosaurs and that terrible transition to Jeff Goldblum yawning, I knew this film was going to be a major disappointment.

The major reason this film does not work is because the story follows a group of characters you have never seen before who are simply unintelligent in their choices in the film and with actors who clearly don't care.

Seriously, I dare you to watch just 5 minutes of Julianne Moore and Jeff Goldblum on screen together and just try to be invested or have the slightest ounce of interest. It also doesn't help that the lines of dialogue that they have to read are just absolute crap.

However, I can watch a film with bad acting and still enjoy myself in the great action set-pieces. There are quite a few action scenes in this film including some destruction in a major US city. These scenes should have me on the edge of my seat, not falling asleep in it.

Even the effects, for the most part, don't look as good as the first film. The story in my eyes is entirely based on a stupid decision too. Why in the world would you go to an island different than the one in the first film, and your sole purpose there is to take inventory of all the dinosaurs.

.. Plus you send some of the most boring characters to ever appear in a Blockbuster. I still can't believe Steven Spielberg directed this film. This is one of the worst sequels I have ever seen. Sure it had a mountain to climb to live up to the first film, but at least make it enjoyable.

An absolute train wreck.