Review of The Lords of Salem (2013) by Todd S — 19 Feb 2014

What the hell is wrong with Rob Zombie? I get that the guy grew up on Heavy Metal and old black & white Horror movies, but there is twisted and then their is fucking insane. The things that must be going through this mans head, that encouraged him to write something like this, is the true definition of horrific.

The film follows a radio DJ in Salem, Massachusetts, who has been seeing some strange things. One day a weird record shows up at the station and the DJ plays it on the air. The seemingly innocent record becomes the most requested song on the station, but not without consequences, as it posses the local female population.

I am a fan of his music, so I know how strange and twisted Rob Zombie can be, but even I have my limits. Following one of the best horror films I've ever seen, The Devil's Rejects, I was really looking forward to Zombie's next project.

That film was a good story, with strong characters, and an amazing ending. This film is pure garbage, meant to shock and disturb audiences, and it does a very good job of that. From nude elderly women, spitting blood on babies, and opening gateways to hell to scary psychics and beast like creatures running around in the dark, this movie is full of things you just never want to see.

Rob's wife, Sheri Moon Zombie stars and the once beautiful, up and coming star of the Devil's Rejects, is now covered in tattoos and looks like she hasn't eaten in months. Her performance is flat and unbelievable, adding to the mountain of manure that this film is offering.

I love Horror movies and I love weird shit, but this was just above and beyond freaking weird. I should have turned the film off when nude witches were spitting blood on babies, but I didn't, I stuck with it and I'm sorry I did.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to get some of the horrific images out of my head.