Review of The Lords of Salem (2013) by Thomas W — 09 Sep 2013

I think it is safe to say Rob Zombie films are not my cup of tea ... but would Rob Zombie be anybody's "cup of tea"? Most likely not ... his films would be one's shot of adrenaline ..

. just not mine. There are bits of Lords of Salem that I marginally enjoyed and I appreciated Zombie's attempt at bridging the old Salem folklore to today; but the end doesn't have much of a payoff .

.. and if it does it makes little sense. The film begins with a flashback of the old Salem Witch Trials in which one man professes to rid the earth of the evil-doings of the witches ... only the witches vow -- as they go up into flames -- to get revenge one day upon the bloodline of those who wished them harm.

Flash-forward to present day when we meet grungy-rock DJ Heidi Hawthorne (Sheri Moon Zombie -- Rob's daughter) who goes about her life minding her own business as a model citizen (although alternative-looking).

Fate has other plans for her though, as she is a direct descendent of those harming the witches ... and through some questionable scenarios and elaborately made up scenes (one scene is beautifully shot but bizarrely carried out) Heidi becomes the pawn of others and her fate is sealed.

She doesn't really have much of a say in the matter ... and the film just advances to its inevitable conclusion (which is somewhat head-scratching) as the finale is poorly made (I did read they had run low on the budget and so concessions had to be made .

.. which hurt). Bruce Davison (The Dead Girl) co-stars as a local museum volunteer who begins piecing mysterious happenings together and Judy Geeson (To Sir, with Love) and Dee Wallace (E.T.) play two of a trio of spinsters who are quite interested in Heidi's doings and whereabouts.

The Lords of Salem does have an interesting premise; but the so-so execution makes the film unremarkable and come across as garishly cheap at times.