Review of The Longest Yard (2005) by Harry W — 11 Nov 2013

I never saw the original version of The Longest Yard, but since I'm a fan of Adam Sandler and Chris Rock's antics I think it's not too challenging for me to enjoy The Longest Yard even though it's obvious that it would lack the political subtext and originality of the Burt Reynolds original.

Unfortunately that that was wishful thinking because The Longest Yard proved to be a crude comedy which is full of stupid characters which are lacking in comedic value and a high- concept plot which becomes brought down to a level that relies on cheap gags and a poor quality script. I mean, a modern update of The Longest Yard never had a chance of holding the same important political context that the original did, but it could have had some clever comedy that came from the sports theme of the film. Instead it relied on stale gags and a poor script with actors who mostly had the comedic talents of Nick Swardson, and for those who don't know who that is I mean most of the cast has poor comedic timing and line delivery. It didn't make use of Chris Rock or Terry Crews like it could have, or even Burt Reynolds. The Longest Yard barely made use of anything, and it's jokes are either stale or stupid, but either way aren't effective. The transvestites in the film are a paradigm of that, and they're homophobic too.

Plus, The Longest Yard fails to capture the grit of prison and instead even glamourises it which is utterly ridiculous and frankly is even insulting to the original. It's pathetic.

But The Longest Yard did have some benefits.

Although I found the humour to consistently be poor, it's one of those films you really have to watch with friends looking for a cheap laugh to appreciate it, because while I still found Bob Sapp funny on his portrayal of his stupid character, I figure many more of the jokes are more likely to be funny around a few mates.

Chris Rock also gave a dedicated performance, and Burt Reynolds brought energy and charisma into his part, supplying a great level of nostalgia to The Longest Yard.

And the best benefit came from the actual football game at the end. The extended gridiron game scene was actually pretty gripping, and despite being laced with few laughs at the lame jokes it kept referencing it was a gripping scene and it caught my interest. I found the film really appreciated in entertainment value from there, even if it didn't make up for the rest of the film. It was generally well made and had some sports spirit in it, so that moment was entertaining.

So The Longest Yard is lame. It's not a film Adam Sandler fits the profile for and lacks the importance of the original, but Burt Reynolds, the final match and a few of the jokes were good.