Review of The Lone Ranger (2013) by Hugo P — 26 Apr 2014

The Lone Ranger tries to be the next big Disney franchise that worked out so well with the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Too bad The Lone Ranger fails to be a big fun summer blockbuster in almost every single way.

The Lone Ranger stars Armie Hammer as the titled character, and Johnny Deep as Jack Sparrow. Wait, never mind, he plays Tonto. I got confused since they are basically the same character, except Tonto has half the grammar.

The performances are not good. Armie Hammer is a goofy version of The Lone Ranger. Armie Hammer cannot be an action movie lead. In fact The Lone Ranger is not the main character. Tonto is the main character in a movie called The Lone Ranger.

There are useless characters, like Helena Bonham Carter's character can be completely taken out of the movie. The fact that Tonto is telling the story to a kid is also useless. The movie is way too long, an hour can be taken out and you wouldn't miss anything.

The tone is all over the place, sometime it is trying to be a kid's movie with humor that doesn't always work, sometimes it is a hardcore drama, and you can see the blood of the people getting shot, and there is cannibalism.

The chemistry between The Lone Ranger and Tonto is awful. They don't work well together, you don't believe these two would pair up and start fighting crime. The plot is way too convoluted for its own good.

If you ask me what it is about it would be really hard to explain it. Now I did like a few things about the movie, William Fichtner is good as the villain. The action scenes are cool and entertaining.

Tonto's back story was interesting enough. But it is not a good movie. I was bored by a lot of it. I didn't care about anything that was going on. I just wanted it to end.