Review of The Last Airbender (2010) by Keenan S — 12 Apr 2014

I was not satisfied with original review of The Last Airbender. There was something that I felt was unfinished between me and this awful catastrophe of a film that has never left me even after I watched it probably two years ago. Many bad films are forgettable, but The Last Airbender is one of those bad films that will forever be etched into my memory until the day I die. No, I had to give this flaming turd another viewing, especially after watching great martial arts epics as of late and indeed, I watched it yet again...experiencing the awfulness all over again.

No, I couldn't just leave my review like every other review of this film. I could just say that it sucks and leave it at that, but that's what virtually every other review has said, and I feel the need to rip this film a new asshole in the most scathing way that I can, especially after reading some of the positive reviews of this disaster which proclaim that people only hate it because it's not faithful to the show, or that they're blind M. Night Shyamalan haters, or that they're expecting a fantasy film on par with the likes of Lord Of The Rings, or that we can't appreciate a beautifully made fantasy film because we're the "dumb masses" (Fuck you. Fuck you so hard), or even that just because it's a kids film that we shouldn't be so hard on it. As you can see, I'm also here to piss all over all those stupid claims made by those fans of this train wreck of a fantasy film.

To further my point before I truly shred it to pieces, here are some facts you need to know. First, I have never watched a single episode of the TV series upon which this film is based on, so faithfulness is not something I would be familiar with, thus, also confirming that I have no bias before hand regarding the material and what to expect. Second, I am no blind M. Night Shyamalan hater, as I have enjoyed some of his notorious works, which include The Happening, which I enjoyed legitimately (Not on a so-bad-it's-good level, but legitimately. I gave the damn film a score of 4.5/5, for fuck's sake!) and I am not ashamed of that fact. Third, no, I am not expecting this to be on par with great fantasy films like The Lord Of The Rings trilogy. I don't know why some fans think this, but the two are nothing alike. If I had to compare it to another film or films, I would say that this film feels like a shitty version of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Fourth, yes, I can enjoy a beautifully made fantasy film, as I have enjoyed many classics, including superb martial arts/fantasy films like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Hero, House Of Flying Daggers, and the underrated Curse Of The Golden Flower which all blew me away and engaged me from start to finish. And finally, I have a fiery hatred of any stupid fuck who dares to defend a film by saying, "It's a kids film, so you shouldn't be so hard on it." That is not an excuse for a film being a piece of shit and you are a complete retard who should be disregarded from all film discussions if you dare bring up that stupid argument. Now, let's get to further shredding.

The film starts off with two siblings: Katara and Sokka, who are members of a water tribe who during an excursion outside their village, find a mysterious boy and his flying buffalo creature frozen in ice. The siblings bring them back to their village after it turns out that they are somehow still alive. The boy is named Aang and it turns out he is the Avatar who can master all four elements: water, wind, earth, and fire and is destined to save the four elemental nations which are currently in a power struggle with the domineering Fire Nation which intends to take control of the world and also capture the Avatar.

Now the Aang, Katara, and Sokka must travel around the world, get Aang to learn how to use all four elements, get the people to rise up against the Fire Nation in their quest to save the world, and Aang must also overcome his own personal troubles as he is formed to overcome his past actions and fulfill his destiny.

The film also follows the character Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation as he attempts to get back in good graces with his father who basically disowned him after he rebelled against him because he wanted to send his friends to the battlefield. Now, he's left struggling with his loyalties between the Fire Nation, or perhaps forging his own path as there are people within his father's court who wish for him to never ascend to the throne and come back into power.

What should have a mesmerizing fantasy film about elemental powers, steampunk, fantastical creatures, spirituality, political intrigue, a plot featuring Shakespearan elements, cool martial arts battles, Asian culture, and various other themes including intriguing elements like reincarnation, instead devolves into a bloated, boring, poorly written, poorly acted, dreary, overly serious, and downright stupid fantasy/martial arts epic.

Instead of allowing the story to flow by itself and show what is happening, M. Night Shyamalan decided instead to mercilessly barrage the viewer with a tsunami of exposition that occurs randomly and frequently in a feeble attempt to get people who are not acquainted to the source material familiar with the show. This became annoying very quickly, draining any sense of interest from something that should have been interesting and rendering the characters as nothing but soulless robots spouting off their origins and who they are, rather than showing us who they are through their actions.

The story is also tremendously frustrating because of all the elements that are shown and hinted at, like elemental powers, power struggles, spirituality, reincarnation, prophecies, overcoming obstacles, tragedy, steampunk, Asian culture, martial arts, interesting creatures (Flying buffalo creatures? A giant lizard creature that can be used to climb walls? How the fuck do you not do anything with these things outside of occasional shots of them?), romance, and so much more. Had this been handed to a director with experience in martial arts epics or fantasy films, this melting pot of various ideas and elements would have had me shitting myself with excitement like a little kid, had me glued to my seat from start to finish, and had me giving me a glowing review. This mix of ideas should have been a dream come true and not only engaged me as an adult, but on an intellectual and storytelling level, but also brought out the little kid in me because I love all these elements in films (I'm a guy. How can I not love things like flying and giant creatures?).

Instead, what I got a was a dull and joyless film that insisted on being taken super seriously, even though the plot is dumber than an average 80's action film. The film's direction has an overbearing sense of seriousness, pretentiousness, and ego from the opening frame. This is partly explained because it was envisioned as being the next great fantasy franchise with a planned trilogy (I've also heard that apparently, Shyamalan pitched it as the next Star Wars, which is pretty fucking egotistical) and $150 million was sunk into this film alone (And that's not even counting the marketing, which was almost as much. The four martial arts epics I mentioned at the beginning of the review cost less to make combined than this one film!).

This overly serious nature doesn't allow the characters any sort of breathing room to develop and they all feel very similar to one another. In fact, I had trouble even remembering their names by the end of the film because they were so soulless and poorly developed. I never once cared about what happened to them or any of their struggles because they are two-dimensional at a very generous estimate.

However, bad character development isn't the only problem these poor characters struggle with as they are also played by some of the most bland and uninteresting actors imaginable. The child actors are especially bad to the point of where they make Taylor Lautner look like Marlon Brando in his prime and Megan Fox like Katharine Hepburn because they are so unspeakably bad in their performances.

This film features some of the most wooden acting imaginable, with the only bright spot being Dev Patel who at least tries to do something with his performance. However, it is quite sad to see him go from a great film like Slumdog Millionaire to this insufferable turd. No one outside of him escapes with any sort of acting dignity and everyone seems totally bored with their roles (Though who could blame them with such a horrid script they have to work with?).

Even worse, not even the action is any good. Despite characters who have elemental powers and a plethora of martial arts fights, the film is very dull as every fight never seems to have any sort of impact and feel as dull and joyless as the rest of the film and cast feels. I have enjoyed many stupid action films, including many poorly reviewed action films, but this is one of those times when not even my overly forgiving nature towards action films can salvage this god-awful film.

With a horrible storyline, horrible acting, boring fight scenes, little to no character development, and an overbearing ego crippling this project, The Last Airbender is a disastrous fantasy/martial arts epic that wastes so many interesting ideas (And also wastes a beautiful film score by James Newton Howard). In the end, it's nothing more than what would have happened if the superb Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon had sucked ass and also a sad reminder of how far a once-promising talent has fallen. Whatever you do, never watch The Last Airbender.