Review of The Killer Inside Me (2010) by Elkin M — 13 Aug 2011

I am utterly convinced that somewhere, deep within this horrid mess of a film, that there is a good idea to be had. As it stands at this moment, Michael Winterbottom's The Killer Inside Me is possibly the messiest, dumbest, most idiotic films I have ever had the displeasure of getting little more than half-way through.

That's it, that's all I have to say on the matter. This is a terrible, awful movie -- and I am not saying that based on the intense violence or any other graphic un-pleasantries which are depicted within this monstrosity. My disdain for this picture resides in the despicably terrible direction, the fifth grade remedial level script and the choice of casting two of the least interesting and capable actresses in the industry (Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson).

If I were to try and tell you what this film was about -- and I'll try my darndest -- I would say that it's about... it's about... a man. My gosh, it pains me to even think about it. Alright, here it goes. Casey Affleck plays Lou Ford, the deputy sheriff of a small, sleepy Texas town. I suppose the era of this films existence is set among the early days of the fifties (that's when the original book was written -- 1952), but you couldn't really guess as the director (Winterbottom) doesn't seem to care much about preserving any kind of atmosphere of any particular decade or style. Some people speak with accents, some people don't. Some people wear their hair cropped short and slicked back; while some let it hang long and loose. The only indication of time is when we visit the "big city" and all of the cars are recognizably old. Otherwise, it's all a big waste. Perhaps we are supposed to think that because everyone in the film is so simply stupid in their actions and reasoning that this film takes place in a period behind our own. I'm not sure.

I'm sorry, I became sidetracked -- easy to do when your subject is as boring as this film is. Where was I? Oh, yes.

So Affleck plays the deputy sheriff who is ordered to run a low down, no good prostie out of town (Jessica Alba). You know, that whole, "We don't want your kind here." bit. So instead of runnin' her our, he decides to get friendly with her, friendly as one tends with someone of said trade. Now, Alba's character likes it a bit rough, which is quite alright with deputy Ford. Unfortunately for her, he likes to go a bit further than most people. You see, when the police try to bribe Ms. Alba out of town with a hand-off by some fella which the deputy had some aught with for some reason or another, Ford takes the opportunity to spread is wings, if you will, concerning how rough he likes it. In a completely absurd scene, Ford enters the prostie's home and begins to punch her in the face. He does this about five times, whackin' her about as hard as his scrawny self is possible of performin'. She comically takes the shots and looks at him with a slightly bloodied nose quite quizzically and ask, "What are you doin' baby?" or some stupid question like that (I really don't care to get the quote straight). He continues to punch her repeatedly in the face with all of his strength uh-mustered, maybe about thirty or forty times. I'm not sure of that either. He does this however without any injury sustained to his hand. I'm thinking that myself, if I were to slam my fist against an object as hard as a skull some thirty times with the same fierce force as which I started, that I'd at least come away with a bit of bruising, if not a fractured hand. After he beats her to death and her face looks like you could pop it with a needle, the payoff man comes in which he quickly dispatches of with around four shots of Alba's pistol which he wipes his prints from in hopes to pin the action on her beat up self.

There are so many problematic issues with this film... and I only got about an hour through it. Oh, what a dreadful film.

Now, to turn the tables slightly, I did say that there was a kernel of a good idea to be found within this subject matter. I think that you could make a very good noir style film based on the subject of a police officer who is in fact a serial killer, or a good serial killer film about a police officer. It would be difficult to do them both. Am I confusing you? Me too. But trust me on this.

Anyway, I must end this review half way through, as I did the movie. There is really no point in continuing.