Review of The Kids Are All Right (2010) by Matt D — 29 Jun 2011

In my review for Kick-Ass, I mentioned in passing that there are some movies I hate that everyone else seems to love. Well, now you get to see one. The Kids Are All Right is a movie that seems almost universally loved, and yet it just really bugs me. It's not one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and there are elements I actually did enjoy. Yet there are some things of it that I loathe so much, I just can't possibly bring myself to give it a positive score.

The first half of the movie is actually really good. Nic (Annette Bening) and Jules (Julianne Moore) are middle-aged married lesbians with two kids, Laser (Josh Hutcherson) and Joni (Mia Wasikowska), one born from each of the mothers, but from the same sperm donor. Laser wants to find out who their donor dad is, so he begs Joni to request the information since she is old enough to do so.

These scenes are great. The dialogue and characters feel real, and the premise is unique. When they meet their donor dad Paul (Mark Ruffalo), the encounter is realistically and humorously awkward. Moments where Paul awkwardly hugs a reluctant Laser show a charm and boldness to the subject matter. When Nic and Jules first meet Paul and find out he's not exactly the type of man they imagined him to be, their facial responses are perfect in how decidedly mom-like they are. I loved the first half of the movie, and I was curious to see what direction it would go in. However, as soon as I saw Jules and Paul give that look; that look that, when given in movies, can only mean one thing; I became concerned. Inevitably Paul and Jules start having sex. From there the movie falls into predictable clichés that have been done a million times before in other, better movies, and shoves themes and messages that I could not tolerate in your face.

The ending message to the movie is that these women don't need a man, and their family can survive without a father figure. First off, I strike an issue with this in that every boy needs a father figure. The father figure didn't have to be Paul, but to say having one in any form is entirely unnecessary comes off as confused and simply wrong. Second, an attempt at a "we don't need a man" message just ends up feeling like an "anything with a penis is evil" message. None of the men in this movie are very likeable, and come off as stupid, selfish, or both. Laser is somewhat likeable, but at the same time he's the flattest character in this movie, and I have to wonder what they were trying to say by having the only halfway likeable male character be one that was raised without any prominent male figures in his life. Not only that, but for much of the first half Nic and Jules think he's gay.

The idea of having a donor parent come back into the lives of a family like this one is a delicate issue, and one that has to be dealt with care. This movie has failed at this. You could have Paul successfully become part of the unconventional family; have him leave realizing he is not needed in their family; or leave out the Paul character altogether and focus on another issue entirely. Instead this movie takes the easy way out and turns him into the movie's bad guy, a decision that angered and offended me.

This movie does so many things right that it's a real shame it faltered on such an important issue. The performances are universally excellent, the dialogue is real and funny, it's directed with style, and the music is fantastic. If you want to defend this movie for being well made, it would be difficult for me to argue otherwise. If you want to defend this movie as a perfect portrayal of a modern "unconventional family," I'd have to disagree with you. Having a new person come into the life of a family and start sleeping with one of the parents is nothing new. The fact that they're lesbians is not enough to breath new life in this tired cliché. If anything, it takes away any realism from the scenario. The film just ends up feeling like a preachy, pathetic attempt at being edgy.