Review of The Island (2005) by Ryan T — 13 Nov 2013

Well, Michael Bay you've done it again: taking a great idea of a story, getting bored with it, and crap all over it with 10 million cut scenes, hot female protagonists who can't act, male protagonists who are carbon copies of your other heroes (no pun intended because, hey-CLONING!), ramming the most expensive vehicles-excuse me, I mean Hot Cars into our faces, CGI everything, 20 minute chase scenes, "subtle" advertising, ROTTEN DIALOGUE consisting of mostly one word phrases like "RUN!", "GO!", "MOVE!", "NO!", "REALLY CHEESY ONE LINER THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A CLEVER CATCH PHRASE BUT IS REALLY JUST A STUPID ONE-LINER!", and last but not least, MICHEAL BAY BEING THE DIRECTOR.

Honestly though, it could have been a better movie, if he would have taken the subject matter a bit more seriously and put a lot more maturity into it. You had me for 12 minutes, maybe even more, when Lincoln was growing to realize what was going on around him.

BUT, until the chasing started, I slumped back into my chair with my palm plastered to my face in disappointment grumbling, "Ohhhhhhh, here we go again..." It was really hard to enjoy this movie, all because I was more angry at the fact that the plot had been thrown aside for unnecessary action scenes, that were so long, I got bored out of my misery not even half way through them.

Even the parts that went at a slow pace, where we could finally catch our breath, felt as if they were being rushed, as if we were too impatient to get to the next action sequence, and sort of abridged it to be no more that 8 seconds.

It's strange and insulting that the important parts have no focus, when the pointless, chaotic action scenes take the longest. Isn't it obvious that Michael Bay just doesn't care about his audience, or the story? Also, THE ISLAND concept, was only mentioned in the first bit of the movie, for a perfect amount of time and only once in the last bit.

.. I'm sorry, BUT I CAME TO SEE THIS "ISLAND" CONCEPT TO BE EXPLORED AND FOCUSED ON, NOT CARS EXPLODING AND SEXIST STEREOTYPING WITH FAST SWIRLING CAMERA MOVEMENTS THAT MADE YOU FEEL LIKE THE INSIDES OF YOU STOMACH WAS CHURNING UP AND SHREDDED TO BITS AS IF DUMPED INTO A FOOD PROCESSOR! Bad stuff aside, let's talk about the good stuff.

The first half of the movie was brilliant. We get to explore and experience the lives of these clones, and how they deal and adapt to their daily activities. The whole "perfect" atmosphere was what it was supposed to be, comforting, but with a subtle shade of eeriness.

The questions this movie raises, can actually stop and make you think/the existence of these clones, and if it is really necessary for this operation, for these organ donations and to give birth to "Perfect Babies".

Here's my question: if these clones can be raised to grow into the best of shape so their organ donations can sustain he life of their original self, why can't we make an effort for ourselves, rather than to depend on copies of yourself, without questioning IT'S own humanity? That would be like, murdering and living off of your own self.

Also, if it were this easy, and it didn't matter if you had a failed liver, and could be saved anyway, people will take their lives less seriously and responsibly. This could be the future of our world, where someone like Merrick would brainwash the world and own products just so life rests in his control.

Bottom line is, it could have been a great movie, if it were to continue on with the same maturity as did in the first half of the movie. It would have gotten an 8.2/10, but unfortunately, will be given a 6/10, which in my rating system goes as "Simply Entertaining".

The way Michael Bay makes his movies is like driving a Jeep on a country road: You have an all-wheel drive and a straight path for you (the plot), but your temptations got the best of you, and decide to swerve off the highway and go joyriding all over the terrains, not knowing where you're going but your own way.

eventually, given some time, you'll find a road, but might not be the same one you last took, and end up getting lost. Giving Michael Bay rights and money to make a movie=giving your car keys to a blind and drunk driver.

Michael Bay, either you grow up, or just stop making movies. The fact that you ruined such a chance of a lifetime to finally redeem yourself with a gold-plated idea is just unforgivable.