Review of The Ice Pirates (1984) by Mixael X — 16 Jun 2009

I probably spent more of this movie wondering just what the hell was going on, than anything else. It's not that the plot is terribly complex, just that it was shot in such a confusing fashion that it was a chore to try and figure out just why the characters were going where they were, and why they were doing things there. Not that much of that matters, mind you, because the bulk of the film is so cheesily insane that the laugh factor overrides the scattershot directing. I mean, "space herpes" alone makes it worth the proverbial price of admission. And if that's not enough, there's a near-castration scene involving a conveyor belt and snapping, Warner Bros.-esque metal jaws, a scene that looked ripped off from "Mad Max," and even a pimp-bot. And don't even get me started on the final, time paradox scene...I'll be seeing that giant, white afro for weeks!

So yeah, "Ice Pirates" isn't high cinema by any means. But it's one hell of a funny ride while it lasts.