Review of The House of the Devil (2009) by Adam C — 22 Jun 2013

By far, the SLOWEST and most BORING horror film I've ever watched! Really don't waste the 95 mins it'll take to watch and be stupidly disappointed (stupidly, because you'll feel like an idiot for getting to the end of the film and realising you were being taken for one the whole time!).

This film's writer/Director/producer(s) were clearly so besotted with false nostalgia for horror films of the 80s, that they misguidedly picked the worst flaws of the worst films of that era and replicated them here, believing themselves to be making something 'authentic' and true to that time.

The majority of the critics giving this any kind of "good" rating are clearly also under some stupid 80s nostalgia spell as well! I bet over half of them weren't even born! Go back and actually watch some of the good ones, like "Don't Look Now", "The Shining", even "The Omen" 1 & 2! See the difference?! What they actually made would've been called crap then as much as it should be now! 90 mins of creeping around with no plausible characters, situations or even anything resembling actual suspense; then 5 mins of "whooaaah, look: blood and satanic ritual! Isn't that scary?!" Answer: NO, IT BLOODY WELL ISN'T! Now give me back the last 95 mins, you fools!!