Review of The Host (2013) by Joey-Clemenza — 13 Apr 2013

A silly "teen beat" approach to typical sci-fi invader tropes, this overly done and half baked psuedo love story provides more laughs than gasps. exhibit a) the chemistry between these kids is non existent, making for some unintentionally hilarious scenes. not the fault of our young cast, who struggles with utterly ridiculous dialogue though with promising conviction. exhibit b) the narrative get's lost into an ostentatious dive by the whim of over dramatic "love cues" or quite simply, poor writing. let's face it, Stephanie Meyer doesn't really know what she's doing. an unlearned writer who got lucky with 'The Twilight Series' by tapping into the narrative routine that was more like a "teen idol poster" to a novel, Meyer was able to exploit what teenage girls "really want"; having been undermined with sexist literary schemes that harken back to the "damsels in distress" or "suzie homemakers in white aprons", with a twist. what's her modus operandi? a subversive heroin who balks and crumbles at the feet of a prototypical blue-eyes, who reminds them what it's like to be a woman. you couldn't write dialogue anymore jarring to 50 years of women's lib if you tried. exhibit c) there must have been a better way to engage the audience with the pivotal "two voices in my head" scene. a scene wherein both the writer and director attempt to circumvent the drama with a true, honest to god commentary on the anagonist's jungian state, which would translate into this sort of thematic reveal and open up the plot and central theme of the movie. unfortunately, it's far more sillier on screen than it was on paper. in fact, who even writes this stuff? oh, yeah.....exhibit b.

Cold special effects that add to the atmosphere but operate as nothing more than breaks of eye-candy, this story will expose Meyer for what she really is. a fake.