Review of The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014) by Highchronicler — 17 Dec 2014

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies Review.

Okay, it’s HighChronicler’s Review Time.

The Battle of Five Armies is the epic conclusion to Peter Jackson’s Hobbit Film Trilogy. I am a HUGE Lord of the Rings (LOTR) fanboy, HUGE. Like I will engage people in hours long conversations about it and they don’t even want to hear it. I am also a purist, I think that the Book should be reformatted and adopted to be the Screenplay, and from there reformat it to be the Script (Easy, right? Would save Millions of Dollars this way – you already have the script/screenplay/book.) I am willing to accept Peter Jackson’s adaptation of LOTR as the best book-film translation that we will ever see. EVER. As in Tenn’ Ambar-Metta. That’s right, unto the Ending of the Earth.

This Latest Hobbit does little to disappoint. It delivers in film format the thrilling final third of Tolkien’s book. (With a few changes, not all are bad.).

The cinematography is strange, but since I saw in 3D with enhanced Framerate, I’m going to attribute the choppy shots and scenes to the weird format. Also with the 3D the environment doesn’t exactly hold up. It looks fake, I don’t know if looks fake with the Standard viewing, but I would expect that it would be better. All-in-All The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is a really, really good movie, with two MAJOR, GLARING, UNACCEPTABLE FLAWS.

Rating: 7.5/10, 3.75 Stars, 75% whatever scale you use.

IN CASE YOU HAVE NOT READ, HEARD, LISTENED TO, OR SEEN THE HOBBIT IN THE 77 YEARS IT HAS BEEN OUT: SPOLIER ALERT, STOP READING IF YOU DO NOT DESIRE TO HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF THIS FILM’S CLIMAX.

Geez, I can’t believe I have to do that.

Okay, I went into the movie with three major things on my mind: The Death of Smaug; Fili, Kili, and Thorin’s Death; and Thorin, Fili, and Kili’s funeral.

First Ten Minutes, Smaug went down with near enough identically to the book, it was different, but wasn’t a bad different. It was fine, checkmark on my list.

Thorin, Fili, and Kili’s Death Scene. Oh boy, this one. I was highly disappointed when they did not pull the text directly into the film here. Thorin’s fight with Azog seemed to go on forever and Fili and Kili did NOT fall defending him. I was upset when I realized that the Dramatic Death of the King’s Nephews was not even close to the way it was. Thorin’s mortally wounded body was found by Beorn surrounded by many corpses of Orc and Goblins. Fili and Kili had fallen defending him. It was tragic, it was Dramatic, and it was perfect. But not in the Movie. NOT ONE BIT!

Here is text taken from The Hobbit for The Royal Death:

“Then Beorn stooped and lifted Thorin, who had fallen pierced with spears, and bore him out of the fray. Swiftly he returned and his wrath was redoubled, so that nothing could withstand him, and no weapon seemed to bite upon him. He scattered the bodyguard, and pulled down Bolg himself and crushed him. Then dismay fell on the Goblins and they fled in all directions. But weariness left their enemies with the coming of new hope, and they pursued them closely, and prevented most of them from escaping where they could. They drove many of them into the Running River, and such as fled south or west they hunted into the marshes about the Forest River; and there the greater part of the last fugitives perished, while those that came hardly to the Wood-elves' realm were there slain, or drawn in to die in the trackless dark of Mirkwood. Songs have said that three parts of the goblin warriors of the North perished on that day, and the mountains had peace for many a year… … Of the twelve companions of Thorin, ten remained. Fili and Kili had fallen defending him with shield and body, for he was their mother's elder brother. The others remained with Dain; for Dain dealt his treasure well.”.

NOT COOL. Did I even mention that Beorn shows up for all about 10 seconds.

Then the Funeral. Oh my, it could have been such a scene, IF IT WAS EVEN IN THE MOVIE!

These two things alone are why my rating is dropped from a 9 or 10. The Two most important things to me were botched. Granted the Death scene was not as bad I was thinking while watching it, but It still wasn’t what it should have been.

Mayhaps the Extended Edition will have Thorin’s Funeral, and Beorn have more screen time. If so the ratings will spike to 8.75/10, 4.5 Stars and 85%.