Review of The Hoarder (2015) by James G — 21 May 2016
What the hell? This movie is just terrible. I'd say this has topped Alone in the Dark. It isn't scary, it isn't thrilling, and the motivations for everyone are terrible.
The movie starts with our main character, Ella, wanting to break into her fiance's storage unit. It then devolves into a Three's Company mess of accidentally going to the wrong storage unit and finding the deus ex machina. When the story, and I use the word story very lightly as the plot is about as thin as half ply toilet paper, gets going, other characters pop on and off and really have no reason other than to be ground up in the horror movie meat grinder.
Everything action is a too stupid to live action and everyone follows the typical horror movie tropes. Oh, their is an unknown creature killing everyone? Time to pop some pills and shoot up. Oh, there is an unknown creature killing everyone? Time to rob everyone blind and escape because the monster won't get me!
If you value your time, don't even bother, wait until Rifftrax does this one.
This review of The Hoarder (2015) was written by James G on 21 May 2016.
The Hoarder has generally received mixed reviews.
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