Review of The History Boys (2006) by Henriette O — 02 Sep 2009

Rudge: How do I define history? It's just one fuckin' thing after another.

[discussing Posner liking Dakin].

Scripps: Oh, Pos, with your spaniel heart. It will pass.

Posner: Yes, it's a phase. Who says I want it to pass? But the pain, the PAIN.

Scripps: Hector would say it's the only education worth having.

Posner: Yes. I just wish there were marks for it.

[about A.E. Housman].

Timms: Wasn't he a nancy, sir?

Hector: Foul, festering, grubby-minded little trollop! Do not use that word!

[Hits him on the head with an exercise book].

Timms: But you use it, sir!

Hector: I do, sir, I know, but I am far gone in age and decrepitude.

Mrs. Lintott: Durham was very good for history. It's where I had my first pizza. Other things too, of course, but it's the pizza that stands out.

Headmaster: There's a vacancy in history.

Tom Irwin: [Thoughtfully] That's very true.

Headmaster: In the school.

Tom Irwin: Ah.

Timms: You've got crap handwriting, sir!

Tom Irwin: It's your eyesight that's bad, and we know what that's caused by.

Timms: Sir! Is that a coded reference to the mythical dangers of self-abuse?

Tom Irwin: Possibly. It might even be a joke.

Dakin: A joke, sir. Oh. Are jokes going to be a feature, sir? We need to know as it affects our mindset.

Hector: The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - that you'd thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you've never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it's as if a hand has come out, and taken yours.

Dakin: I just wanted to say thank you.

Scripps: So? Give him a subscription to The Spectator or a box of Black Magic. Just because you've got a scholarship doesn't mean you've got to give him unfettered access to your dick.

Hector: Pass the parcel. That's sometimes all you can do. Take it, feel it and pass it on. Not for me, not for you, but for someone, somewhere, one day. Pass it on, boys. That's the game I want you to learn. Pass it on.

Mrs. Lintott: Actually I wouldn't have said he was sad. I would have said he was cunt-struck.

Hector: Dorothy!

Mrs. Lintott: I'd have thought you'd have liked that. It's a compound adjective. You like compound adjectives.

Dakin: Next week? Get this man - "You can suck me off next week"!

I've heard of a busy schedule but this is ridiculous.

God, we've got a long way to go. - Do you ever take your glasses off?

Tom Irwin: Why?

Dakin: It's a start.

Tom Irwin: Not with me. Taking off my glasses is the last thing I do.

Dakin: Yeh? I'll look forward to it.

[Timms is trying to duck out of Athletics].

Wilkes: What's the matter with you, lad?

Timms: I've got a note.

Wilkes: I don't DO notes! Get changed!

Timms: Sir...

Wilkes: God doesn't do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, "Can I be excused the Crucifixion?" No!

Scripps: Actually, sir, I think he did...

Posner: I'm not happy but I'm not unhappy about it.

Dakin: Don't think we're shocked by your mentioning the word "foreskin," sir.

Crowther: No, sir. Some of us even have them.

Lockwood: Not Posner though, 'cause he's, well, Jewish. It's one of several things he doesn't have.

Posner: Fuck off.

Lockwood: That's not racist, though.

Crowther: No?

Lockwood: It's race-related... but not racist.