Review of The Hallow (2015) by Thequietgamer — 09 Oct 2016

Despite solid reviews, "The Hallow" is little better than your average Syfy creature-feature from back in the day (when it was still called sci-fi). The visuals, monster design, the body horror and bland characters all scream "we've seen this before!" It's a predictable affair and one lacking in scares.

Despite writer/director Corin Hardy's best efforts, there just isn't anything interesting or threatening about the movie's hallow-dwelling antagonists. The creatures look pretty cool and the Irish folklore should have made for something much more exciting. Unfortunately Hardy just can't capture any sort of tension onscreen. By the time the little buggers show up, you already lose all interest in them. They just aren't scary.

Not even the body horror elements do anything to raise the pulse. We get some cool looking, parasitic fungi based mutations, but nothing that will keep you up at night. The faceless protagonists and generic writing kill what little plot there is here. Not that there was anything interesting happening in that department anyway. It all boils down to "protect the baby!" and Hardy never dives into the actual mythology he's borrowing from.

Yeah, Hardy leaves everything up to his monsters. Unfortunately he fails to make them even the slightest bit frightening. So what follows is one really dull chase that's entirely predictable all the way through. With no characters to hang onto there's no point in watching it. At least things look nice.

4.