Review of The Grudge (2004) by Tyler M — 31 Mar 2012

Warning: This review may contain large amounts of ranting and raving... And not the good kind.

Okay, so let me see if I've got this straight...There's a guy by the name of Takashi Shimizu, he decided to make an atmospheric Japanese supernatural thriller. Those seem to be the latest craze. Another craze would be to remake the average Japanese supernatural thriller, and Americanize it, in attempt to be hip. So, this guy known as Takashi Shimizu, thought it would be fun to hit up both crazes. He decided that it would make sense to make a supernatural Japanese thriller, and than remake it with American actors...So all in all, he decided to make a ghost story in Japan and Americanize it? So why the hell does this take place in Tokyo? It makes no sense to do that! Am I the only one that doesn't quite understand this stupid decision?!

The Story: There's a house, it's haunted, people go in there, people die. That's pretty much the story. Someone goes in, sees a creepy little kid, dies. Someone else goes in, sees a creepy little kid, and dies. Rinse and repeat. It's not all that atmospheric, where's the brilliant lowlight photography that a film like this calls for? It didn't look near as good as it should have or could have. The story is lacking, and the character development is damn near non-existent. The characters do have a little bit of back story, but they're stories are all nonsensical! An American couple have moved to Tokyo because the husband has gotten a job there? The dependant mother of the husband who suffers from Dementia also lives there? And her daughter lives there as well? What the F? Are you telling me that this family consisting of a mother, a son, a sister, and a daughter in law have all migrated to Japan because the son got a job? This might make sense to me if they weren't all grown adults... It's not like any of these people were actually forced to move. Please someone who has seen this, tell me if I have that right! Not only is this amazingly stupid family living in a haunted house, but there's yet another American couple studying abroad. This other couple consists of a nurse and some other guy, I can't recall what it is he's studying, so rest assured it doesn't really matter, as he plays a very minor role in this stupid movie. So, now you have an a family living in a haunted house, and a nurse and some other guy...Oh, I forgot, there was another guy in the film that for some reason or other was being followed around by someone, and somehow got mixed up with this stupid haunted house. If that last sentence didn't make sense to you, relax because it doesn't really matter if you know what purpose he serves or not...All these people become tormented by the ghoulish little kids and well, you can guess what happens next...Okay, chances are you're tired of my ranting on this idiotic movie, so I'll get onto the next part of the review...

The Cast: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Bill Pullman...What do these two have in common? You guessed it! They're both in a really bad movie. Sarah Michelle Gellar is the standard blonde that takes it upon herself to find out the truth behind all the strange happenings. Bill Pullman...I'm not sure exactly what he was, other than a boring character...There were also a couple kids in this movie that filled the standard "creepy kid" parts, one sounds kind of like a frog that's slowly dying, and the other sounds like a sick and angry cat...This cast sucks...This cast really sucks...This cast really really sucks...Here's what you do, and I recommend this for all the worst casts out there (see also, Wrong Turn), should you ever see anyone from this cast, stone them. Pelt them with rocks, batteries, whatever. They should not go through life believing that they have done good here.

One to Five Scale: 2.

It's got a few moments of scares, and the make up for the ghosts is actually pretty creepy...Everything else is just plain bad. Avoid this movie...If you're looking for an Americanized supernatural thriller, go watch the ring, it's better in every conceivable way.

Tyler.