Review of The Green Inferno (2013) by Castor W — 04 Nov 2015

A love child of Eli Roth's for many years now, The Green Inferno has finally graced the presence of a mainstream audience from the the depths of limbo, only it really should have stayed there. Roth's ode to Cannibal Holocaust, a film equally as shambolic, see's a group of asshole students delving deep into the Peruvian rain forest, in a bid to thwart its destruction.

Only when our activists become stranded, bulldozers and machine guns seem like 30 minutes of Sesame Street in comparison with the jungles true horrors. The problem is not the brutality, gore or indeed harrowing imagery, you expect that at the very least from a story revolving around rain forest cannibals, instead Green Inferno decides to bore you to death for the vast majority of its run time and when its not doing that, its having a massive identity crisis.

See this film has no idea what it wants to be, and instead of build some form of meaningful story or indeed compelling character, opts for a teenagers idea of the perfect slice of "Gory" entertainment.

Roth's scripts have never been masterpieces, whatever he is going for here however is beyond lazy, dialogue is atrocious, unrealistic and insulting to just about everyone watching's intelligence.

None of the characters, who we spend 44 aching minutes getting to know have any depth or structure what so ever. It's bad guy, good guy, sleazy guy, stoner, hot girl, hot guy and that is as thick as the character development gets, even in moments of extreme peril.

The film has an abundance of zinger moments, pissed throughout and each one continues to bamboozle, don't believe me? The first words uttered after a violent and gruesome plane crash, "Is everyone okay?", when its pretty evident from the situation, those would not even make the top 5 list of things to even think.

What about in the midst of death, one of the group decides to crack one off, using the excuse of trying to stay relaxed will improve his chances of survival, before going for the home run and hitting us with 9/11 conspiracy, its not so much the information presented here, instead how its displayed and thats the real problem here, Green Inferno is just a mess, it's clear Roth is just trying to shock and instead of aim the bar high and take time with some form of connectivity, he just litters his film with nonsense, the entire way throughout.

It's not a complete failure, the practical effects work is stellar, the blood and gore looks and feels real, the tribe themselves all look and act tremendous, the costume and make up department do a brilliant job, but who cares? Green Inferno never compels, it never strives for any form of greatness, instead it just ticks the boxes and leaves the effects and wardrobe department to pick up the pieces.

I have no desire to ever watch this again, nor would I recommend.