Review of The Green Hornet (2011) by Josh J — 01 Feb 2012

Though The Green Hornet is not within the Clash of the Titans level (Read: crap movies not even 3-D can save from total disaster.), it still the kind of venture that prompts us to believe that 3-D is just another money-making scheme of film producers. James Cameron drew a double-edged sword when he released Avatar â" one side pushed film-making to new heights and the other ushered in additional financial source for unscrupulous producers to manipulate. The list of inferior 3-D movies outnumber the good ones. For every soaring How to Train Your Dragon is a stupefying Shrek Forever After. For every delightful Despicable Me is a deplorable The Last Airbender. I drew the line with Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squekuel. So when I heard Seth Rogen is out to make a big screen version of the classic series, I was like, âGreat! Iâ(TM)ve never met a Rogen flick that I didnâ(TM)t like. Big man got this cool voice. Makes Judd Apatow even better.â? Then I saw the trailer and I go, âI hope the movie is better than this.â? Then the clincher. âDamn. 3-D?! Now I have to shell extra cash. If itâ(TM)s good and watch it in plain 2-D, I might regret it for a couple of months. But if itâ(TM)s bad and watch it in 3-D, I might strangle myself inside the cinemas.â? No-win. I took a risk with the second scenario because I know better than commit a bizarre suicide. Just great.

It wasnâ(TM)t that bad if the standard is The Last Airbender (I needed to remind ourselves of the biggest one-hit wonder of all time, M. Night Shyamalan.) Rogen has himself to blame the most for this bit of mess since he is the lead actor-writer-executive producer. You understand where heâ(TM)s going: a cooler take on the crime-fighting hero. Cooler car. Cooler ammo. Cooler sidekick. Just needs an absolute cool premise: the heroes pretend as villains to grab the real scum. Premise doesnâ(TM)t sound bad but the execution fails in comparison. None demonstrates it better the 5-minute realization cum putting-the -pieces-together of the Hornet in the homestretch. Unimaginable from someone fumbling throughout the film. Aside from a nagging feeling that the writers seem unsure of the process of tying the loose ends and up with such mechanism. Reminds me of Ron Howardâ(TM)s Da Vinci Code where clues floats around Tom Hanksâ(TM) Robert Langdon whenever heâ(TM)s in the zone before the big a-ha moment. Love popcorn movies! Makes me feel like an intelligent bastard.

James Reid (Tom Wilkinson) died of allergic reactions to a bee sting leaving his newspaper business to his no-good son Britt (Rogen). There is no love lost between them and is obvious during the funeral. One morning, Britt realized that his coffee sucked and demanded that the his original coffee maker, Kato (Jay Chou) returns. The coffee maker slash car maker showed his new master of the cool stuff his later father made him do. Light bulb moment hit Britt and soon enough he and Kato (with the help of Cameron Diazâ(TM) Lenore Case) became mask vigilantes targeting criminals. First mission: behead the statue of James Reid. Their tactic is simple: pretend to be criminals in order to get the real ones. This angered crime lord Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz) and up-for-reelection DA Scanlon (Dan Harbour) especially after Britt utilized his newspaper to magnify their exploits.

There is something juvenile in all of these which is expected since Britt Reid is not close enough to being mature. But if for a moment you think that all the superhero activities deepened his character then it did not and for some reason infected their voice of reason Lenore Case. I am not sure if this movie will add something great to the superhero movie genre. Entertaining and thatâ(TM)s that. After an Oscar-winning turn, Waltz returns to the big screen as another villain. I hope this is not a trend. Please. The man has more talent than a taking the role of a sneering anti-hero. Though Chudnofsky (âChud-nof-sky!â?) and later on Bloodnofsky (âBe it my mask or your blood, red is the last thing youâ(TM)ll see.â?) started out as an interesting killer chap, his antics soon wore off. I went from laughing with him to cringing at him. His scenes with the ubiquitous James Franco (in a cameo role) were some of his best moments then its downward spiral from there. Waltz next projects will pit him against the talents of Reese Witherspoon and Jodie Foster. Another star I was looking forward in this movie is Asian pop superstar Jay Chou in his first mega-budget foreign project. For someone who grew up hoping to be the next Bruce Lee, his role as Kato â" an original of his idol â" is a dream come true. (A sketch of Lee in Katoâ(TM)s pad is an obvious homage to the Dragon.) Just one beef: the hell are his abs? Chou is an abuolous and abtastic creature and I did not see a single pair in the movie. To be frank, he is not a sidekick material but the main man himself. I think of him as meticulous artist based on his full-of-effort music videos. Let this be the start of a bigger career in the West. Cross our fingers that this movie does not spoil his chances.

The Green Hornet is entertaining enough but not not enough to place it alongside other memorable superhero movies. Writing is its waterloo and Rogen must learn to delegate this task to another person if a sequel is in the works. I admire his talent but one cannot do it all. There is a reason an Ashton Kutcher film knocked it out after just a week of placing on top of the box-office. (I am giving to much credit to Mr. Kutcher here. Itâ(TM)s an Ashton Kutcher and the ubiquitous Natalie Portman movie.) So Mr. Rogen, if Mr. Apatow calls pick it up. If he offers a project, accept it. Make us believe in that Seth Rogen Talent one more time.

RATING: C.